I Think I'll Keep You
by Dana Katherine Scully
Summary: When Captain Picard and Doctor Crusher are abducted from the Enterprise by a former crewmember, the fortuitously present crew of Voyager comes to their aid. But will the changing lives of the crews damage their friendships forever? TNG/Voy X-over
1. Chapter One, by Dana Katherine Scully

This work is the result of a collaboration of authors on www.startrekvoyager.com. Their names are written above their chapters. Please do not copy without permission.  
  
The original concept was an "add-on" fanfiction, in which anyone could post a new addition to the storyline. In deference to the spirit of the story, anyone who wishes to contribute can write a section and email it to me at Dana_Katherine_Scully64@Yahoo.com. Please make sure you are writing from the most current point in the story: the story will be updated on STV, so you can check to see if there are any recent updates at:  
  
c&start=0  
  
Here are the parameters for writing a section of the story. This is the most current version of these parameters.  
  
Parameters:  
  
1) You can use any series! But please try to stick with ONE general story line. 2) Please find some way to use the phrase "I think I'll keep you" in the body of what you add to the fic. (not too strict on this one but try very hard)  
  
3) Please DO NOT add "one-liners." Try to post at least a good-sized paragraph, preferably more. 4) Your section will be edited by myself or possibly by another author in the fic for grammatical errors and awkward wordings. If there is a change that has been made to your work which you feel compromises your writing, DO NOT HESITATE TO TELL THE EDITOR. The last thing any of us wishes to do is curtail your artistry!  
  
5) Please include your name/pen name with your writing: everyone should get proper credit!  
  
6) This takes place after Nemesis: I'm going to make the assumption that another Enterprise will be built. This will be the NCC-1701-F, and as for the Voyager characters, VVS8/9 have not happened.  
  
7) You can write from the standpoint of any character.  
  
"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
Jean-Luc Picard walked onto the bridge of the new Enterprise F. Since he had taken command of the Enterprise D those many years ago, it had felt like a merry-go-round of Enterprises: one right after another. He could swear that sometimes he felt dizzy! However, the one constant had been his crew. His senior officers especially had been a pillar of his life for 15 years, and when the Enterprise D had been destroyed, they all had moved with him to the Enterprise E. But now? He had lost his First Officer, his best friend, to the winds of change. And to make matters worse, he had lost a dear friend and trusted companion in the same gust: poof! The great Jean- Luc Picard stood slightly more stooped than before, his proud silhouette just a bit less distinct. "A man is no more than the people he surrounds himself with," he noted in his personal log.  
  
Amid all of the turmoil caused by the departure of his friends, Jean-Luc found comfort in the strength of his strongest pillar: that of his dear friend Beverly. She had remained with him for many years, and he felt honoured to serve with such a fine officer and top-notch doctor. Although he'd never admit it, he also felt a bit more than honoured. "To be perfectly honest," he noted in his log, "I'm downright giddy that she's chosen to remain with me."  
  
*  
  
Standing in her new sickbay, Beverly Crusher was overwhelmed by the newness of it all. The technology was advancing so quickly she swore that some day it would trip over itself and they'd be pack to the days of the automobile and the "desktop computer" (if you could call it that). She quite imagined herself that way sometimes: moving from place to place so quickly that eventually she'd trip and fall flat on her face, and realize that she had no one left to pick her up. Wesley was following his own path, and Jack had left long ago. Jean-Luc was sweet, but he was so afraid of offending her or pushing her that he would only pick her up with her express consent! His tendency to repress his emotions made her both amused and angry, because she could ask him point-blank if he was feeling something she KNEW he was feeling, and he would blow her off. But there were those rare moments, moments when time seemed to stop short and all other creatures disappear, leaving them alone in the universe. Moments when he would make an off-hand remark that he thought revealed nothing, but told Beverly everything.  
  
Occasionally, she would have dreams about him. She wondered with a sigh what Deanna would think about that. Would she laugh and say, "Beverly, it's an infatuation!" Or look her in the eye and ask her, "And did you two...you know...well...so?" (to which Beverly would have to nod). Beverly thought, however, that the most likely reaction she would get from her friend would be, "Beverly, why haven't you told him how much you're in love with him?" She would spin some tail about how she felt it was inappropriate. But in her heart, she was afraid. Afraid that his feelings were not as strong as hers, or that he was secretly in love with someone else, or that he was simply not attracted to her, or...or...  
  
Or what, Beverly? she would then ask herself. The personal log entries that she had made regarding the subject were confused rants, Beverly "The Ice Queen" Crusher going through emotions like a newborn through baby clothes. One minute she was blushing, the next smiling, even tearing up a bit. One time she'd even gone to the holodeck and told the computer to program him up. She put them together in a small suite in a hotel in Paris, and spent nearly three hours dancing with his hologram. When she was called to the bridge, Beverly paused the program and stared hard at the hologram of Jean- Luc, trying to decide whether to save the program and admit her weakness for him, or to let it pass into oblivion and to save it only in her memory. After a long moment, she whispered, "I think I'll keep you." The paused hologram gave no reply, simply stared back into her eyes blankly.  
  
And so her life continued, an endless cycle of unfulfilled longings and half wishes: dream-world fantasies and real life miseries. Does he even know?  
  
*  
  
"Captain's personal log, Stardate 34527.5. The Enterprise F is still in space dock and we are preparing for her new crewmembers to board before heading to the Neutral Zone to assist in concluding the Romulan peace talks. Meanwhile, my personal life has taken a turn for the worse. Dr. Crusher seems to have insinuated herself into my mind, and I can't seem to shake her image from my dreams. I've tried everything I can think of to make it stop, and my last resort may have to be a visit to sickbay. I cannot imagine what Beverly would think of me then.  
  
"Today, she brought a tabby cat into my ready room, one that she's apparently adopted from the Starbase's museum. She plunked her down on my desk and said that she was the newest candidate for Ship's Conselour. I was shocked and a bit angry that she'd bring an animal into my ready room, but as I looked into that little cat's eyes I could swear she was reading my soul. By her silence she was almost pushing me to reveal everything to Beverly: to tell her everything about my feelings for her. I am still a bit shaky from the encounter, as it revealed so much about the inner workings of both of our minds. A little too much about me, I fear.  
  
"There are times that I desperately wish that I knew her thoughts again. The feeling of truly connecting with her in such a way was incredible. To know the mind of another human being so well is to become a part of something greater than yourself. It is to become a part of a true 'us.' Unfortunately, during the last conversation I had with Beverly about the matter, she informed me point-blanc she did not wish to start that kind of relationship between us. At the time I thought, 'Well I've waited 20 years. What's another few?' But I've become restless: obsessive even. I see her everywhere, everything reminds me of her. I suppose I've always been a bit obsessive about things: I become extremely single-minded when I want something. I fear that is what is happening now. Good Lord I hope I can wait for her. End log entry."  
  
He paused for a moment. "Computer delete previous log entry. Begin new."  
  
"Captain's personal log, Stardate 34527.5. We are preparing to receive our new crewmembers before departing space dock, including my new First Officer. Afterward we will report to the Romulan Neutral Zone to continue to assist in the peace talks. I am a bit nervous about our reception with our former enemies, but I am hopeful that the talks will pan out well. It will also give the crew a chance to visit with our former First Officer and Conselour."  
  
*  
  
"Chief Medical Officer Beverly Crusher, personal log. Stardate 34527.5. I am in the midst of 'acclimating' several new medical staff members to the Enterprise F, and to my expectations. They are an attentive group, and though they are young and inexperienced I'm sure they will learn very quickly.  
  
"This past few days has been tiring for me, but I have a new family member to help relieve the strain. Her name is Miss Deanna (after my dear friend), and she is a tabby cat. She wandered into my quarters one day after apparently having escaped the "exotic Terran animals" display at the Space Dock's museum. I contacted the museum officials when I found her and they told me she had been nothing but a pain since the day they'd found her. I told them that I would be happy to remove their pain from their hands. The communication ended right after they told me they were more than happy to give me the cat. I looked her right in her inquisitive green eyes and said, "I think I'll keep you, Miss Deanna." She cocked her head at me, and at that moment I swore she could read my soul. Incredible how you can find a human personality in an animal.  
  
"I was so struck by Miss Deanna's little foray into empathic perception that I decided to formally introduce her to Jean-Luc. I marched onto the bridge holding the cat one day, and was told by a very flustered Lieutenant that the Captain was in his ready room. I 'rang the bell' and heard his familiar 'Come.' The doors slid open, and I held the cat in front of me.  
  
"The look on Jean-Luc's face was priceless. He went from shock to anger to amusement in the space of a few seconds. 'Beverly, what the devil are you doing with an animal in my ready room!?' he boomed, attempting to sound imposing. I laughed. 'Jean-Luc, I think you should consider this little tabby cat a candidate for ship's conselour.' Jean-Luc looked extremely confused. I put the cat down on his desk and let her look him right in the eye for a few moments. At first he was shocked that I would be so presumptuous as to place a tabby cat on his desk! But after a moment, he took notice of Miss Deanna's penetrating stare and was fascinated by the power she had over him. I picked her back up after a few moments, and stroked her until she purred. 'Isn't she just perfect for the spot Jean- Luc? Incapable of any form of speech, and yet with a stare she can look into your soul and help you to do the same.' I wish I could see into his soul as I fear he does into mine.  
  
"Our subsequent discussion was fascinating, an intellectual feast of ideas about sentience, psychology, and a myriad of little remarks that made me shiver with delight. I hope I did not reveal too much of my feelings for him: I fear he does not reciprocate them.  
  
"Well, Miss Deanna seems to be a bit hungry. We've transferred the Enterprise D's replicator memory files from ship to ship, so I can still request some of Data's concoctions for Spot. Poor Spot. After we lost Data, he seemed to waste away to nothing. He died two weeks ago, and we all got together one last time to bid both of them goodbye. It was one of the saddest moments of my life. Data's death hit us all very hard. But that is a story for another day. End log entry."  
  
*  
  
Beverly Crusher had a mission. She was going to whip these new cadets into shape if it killed her. She was a hard worker and expected the same of her staff, and it irked her to see the young Starfleet cadets that had been put under her command hanging around in Ten Forward until the second before they were due to go on duty in sickbay. What if there was an emergency? What if the ship suddenly came under attack? These were dangerous times: the Federation and the Romulan Empire were involved in peace talks but there were more than a few citizens of each group who would never be used to the idea. Both organizations faced a constant threat of rebellion, and despite all of her efforts to keep politics out of sickbay, the Enterprise's crew was distracted, and it showed.  
  
In her office in sickbay, Beverly had set up a little corner for Miss Deanna, whose presence she found to be a soothing reminder of her old friend. The Enterprise would never be the same without all of them: Data, Will, Deanna. She knew the other senior officers were feeling it too: Geordi kept coming into sickbay, complaining of a headache, and then would spend as much time as he could talking about Data and the "good old days." Beverly would have to kick him out when a crewmember in real need of medical attention came in, but the truth was that she really wanted to talk just as much as he did. The senior staff's morale was beyond low; it didn't take an empath to see that. The new conselour was a lovely woman, but she didn't have Deanna's abilities and she was often at a loss to help people who missed her.  
  
While Beverly mulled over absent friends, Jean-Luc himself walked purposefully into sickbay. "Beverly, I need to speak with you," he said, all business. Jean-Luc was fairing much worse than she expected with all of the changes in the crew. He would never tell her the extent of it, but she knew that he was distracted and upset. Beverly followed him into her office and shut the door behind them.  
  
"What is it Jean-Luc," she asked gently.  
  
The captain seemed to catch his breath. "I need your advice," he said finally. "It's a personal matter."  
  
"Anything Jean-Luc you know that," Beverly replied, inviting him to sit. She herself took the seat behind her desk, putting a bit of space between them.  
  
Jean-Luc seemed to be searching for something. Finally he stuttered, "Beverly I have a...a problem...of a...um...a personal nature."  
  
Beverly was intrigued, to say the least. He never ceases to surprise me, she thought. "Yes?"  
  
"Ever since...since my nephew died, I've been thinking about the sum of my life: what I'll leave behind. When I met Shinzon I was appalled at how evil he had become: how I could have become had my circumstances been different. I want to find a way to repair the damage that I myself have done."  
  
"Captain," Beverly gasped. "Shinzon was not you! He may have had your DNA but he was most certainly not you, and you should not be held responsible for his actions."  
  
"Shouldn't I?" Jean-Luc replied. "I wonder. I was the one who tried to teach him about humanity, instead of destroying him when I could have. I made the wrong choice, and someone of my same family line (because Beverly he was of my family line) caused irreparable harm and even death." He paused for a few moments. "If I were to...to have a child, Beverly. If I were to raise a child with...with someone whom I loved...and...and trusted. Could I not repair the mistakes that Shinzon made?"  
  
Beverly was stunned. "I...Jean-Luc I simply...I simply don't know what to say. I wish I knew your thoughts," she said. "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking..."  
  
Jean-Luc became agitated, interrupting with, "Beverly, if you had the chance to have another child would you?"  
  
"Jean-Luc what are you asking me?"  
  
"Simply if you would take the chance to have another child if you could."  
  
"Well, I honestly can't say."  
  
Jean-Luc sighed heavily. "I'm sorry Doctor: I shouldn't have interrupted your work. I'll be on the bridge." The captain suddenly looked ten years older. He pushed himself out of his chair and walked slowly out of sickbay, Beverly calling after him.  
  
When he did not come back, Beverly left sickbay in the care of Nurse Ogawa and went to Holodeck 4. "Computer run program Crusher 10."  
  
She entered the holodeck and saw her virtual Jean-Luc standing solemnly where she left him. "Hello Jean-Luc," she whispered. "Run program."  
  
The hologram turned to look at her. Eyebrows arched in typical Jean-Luc fashion, he said to her, "I think I'll keep you."  
  
*  
  
Admiral Janeway stood looking out of the large window in her quarters. It felt good to be back in space again: ever since Voyager had arrived home, she'd been somewhat less than happy on Earth. It had been nice to have a break from the adventures of Voyager, but she felt compelled to go back into that vast unknown that she had helped to discover a bit more of. The Family was all on board for the maiden voyage of the newest Enterprise: that had been Kathryn's first priority when she was promoted to Admiral a month after Voyager's return (after the hearings were over). She knew her family was restless: the children were ready to leave the nest again. Well, most of them.  
  
Tom and B'Elanna had settled in to a new home in San Francisco, and they were reluctant to leave because their daughter was so young, but the couple agreed that they'd rather not miss the opportunity to bring the family together again, even if they were only Starfleet observers on the Enterprise. The rest of Voyager's crew had agreed, right down to the last few Maquis who were still unsure about being around Starfleet.  
  
Upon their return to Earth, Harry had been promoted to Lieutenant, and he was enjoying every minute of it. It felt good, he said, to be known as something a little more...noble than 'Ensign'. Admiral Janeway had agreed and shook his hand firmly.  
  
Janeway the Starfleet Admiral was thrilled to be onboard the Enterprise. She wanted to catch up with Captain Picard, study Voyager's extensive database and make some sense of it, and above all, she wanted to prove that she was worthy of her rank. Kathryn Janeway the woman, on the other hand, was less than content.  
  
Commander Chakotay had become more and more distant since his marriage to Seven. He kept himself isolated from The Family, as did Seven. When she did see them together, they were both sad and distant. She knew that she shouldn't be so quick to judge their marriage, but she couldn't help thinking that it just wasn't right. The two of them had strenuously resisted her invitation to join The Family onboard the Enterprise F, but her famous iron will had brought her and Chakotay to such an argument that he had no choice but to come. He was still angry with her, but not nearly as much as Seven. Kathryn knew Seven sensed that she was skeptical of the relationship. Chakotay was over-protective of his wife, not allowing her much freedom at all for fear that she'd be injured. She in her turn become insanely jealous if he so much as looked at another woman, so much so that she'd actually locked him into the house for a week so that he could look at no one but her. Her returning human emotions were overpowering her sensibilities. Kathryn knew that with the right kind of help, Seven could recover, but Chakotay's spiteful retorts to her insane inquiries did not help matters one bit.  
  
Though she would never admit it to herself, Kathryn believed that she could have been the one for Chakotay. She still dreamed about him, about how he was on Voyager. She would wake up crying after dreams of him being torn from her embrace by some sort of black monster, his face turning cold and indifferent to her suffering. Some nights were better than others though. Sometimes she would vividly recall their days together on New Earth, and her mind would alter the course of events so that she told him everything: all the thoughts and feelings that she was keeping to herself during those days. Of course they were only dreams, but dreams were the gateway to her unconscious. Without them, she'd go crazy trying to repress her thoughts.  
  
The door chimed, pulling her from her reverie. "Come in!" she called, turning to face the door.  
  
The door slid open, and Jean-Luc Picard stood facing her. "Admiral Janeway. It's good to see you. How is your crew settling in?"  
  
"The Family's all right," she replied in her husky voice, smiling at Jean- Luc's momentary confusion at her mention of a "family". "I've been meaning to tell you Jean-Luc. Commander Chakotay is an amateur archeologist who is very interested in meeting you." At least he was, she thought. "I think he would appreciate it very much if you would contact him about his interests. He made some fascinating discoveries in the Delta Quadrant."  
  
Jean-Luc smiled appreciatively at Admiral Janeway. "Thank you, I'll make it a point to do so." He paused for a moment, and Janeway wondered what else was on his mind. Finally he said, "As you know, we've been assigned to assist with the peace talks with the Romulans. With your level of diplomatic experience Admiral, I was hoping that you would assist us in our peace talks. As you know, the Romulans have heard about Voyager's incredible journey through the Delta Quadrant, and they have a lot of respect for you and your crew. Your help would be greatly appreciated."  
  
Janeway tipped her head to the side in her characteristic gesture of self- confidence. "Have no fear Jean-Luc. I knew you had an ulterior motive when you allowed us to come along. I've already begun to read up on your adventures with the Romulans." She smirked at him good-naturedly: their old friendship was being rekindled. It was a nice feeling. Real friends are hard to come by lately, she thought, not without a touch of malice. She quickly chased the thought from her mind: jailing it behind the tritanium walls she had taught herself to build around her emotions.  
  
"Thank you very much Admiral. And now I have a lady to attend to," he quipped. "Ms. Enterprise F is quite the task master. I've already had to reprogram the replicators again: we're now trying to recover all of the lost holodeck data from the earlier Enterprise."  
  
"How is the recovery progressing?" the Admiral asked, a little too enthusiastically. "I could give you a hand if you like: sitting behind that Admiral's desk becomes quite a bore after a while."  
  
Jean-Luc smiled. "I'm glad you find it so stimulating."  
  
Janeway gave him her patented false-exasperation face, and they headed toward engineering.  
  
*  
  
Chakotay watched his wife Seven of Nine pace anxiously through their quarters as she thought about his question. Standing around still made her crazy: she hadn't quite recovered from her Borg-driven quest for perfect efficiency. Frankly, it drove her husband nuts. It had been fine when they were dating: he even found it pathetically attractive. He had married Seven because he felt she needed him to care for her. What he hadn't anticipated, however, was how she could turn that quest for perfection into an insane obsession, more paranoia rather, with the suspicion that he was cheating on her.  
  
Once, about a month after they had moved into their new home, she had locked him in the house for a week in a rage after she'd seen him talking to a young ensign at Starfleet Medical Research. The poor young woman simply needed the encouragement of a superior officer: she'd become discouraged after a particularly bad day. Chakotay had merely told her that not every day would be like today. He had given her a smile, then turned and walked away. Unfortunately, Seven had been standing at the end of the corridor.  
  
"How dare you!!!" she half whispered, her voice sharp and cold.  
  
Chakotay tried to stay calm. "Honey, I was merely offering the young woman some words of encouragement: she's had a rough day and..."  
  
"You would leave me for a child?!" Seven screamed. She threw the PADD that she was working on at him, then (apparently deciding that that wasn't good enough) she threw herself at him. "I don't believe you!" she yelled, fists pounding mercilessly against his body.  
  
Chakotay tried to take her into his embrace, but she would have none of it. "Seven, please calm down. Seven please." he pleaded, trying to ignore the stares of co-workers and the warnings of security guards.  
  
"Ma'am, get off of him please," one of the guards called out firmly.  
  
"No, no, it's all right," Chakotay shouted as he began to subdue her. "Honey come on," he whispered to the now weeping woman in his arms. "Let me get you home."  
  
Long story short, when they had arrived at the house, Chakotay had been relieved that Seven appeared to have worn her self out and was sleeping peacefully. He picked her up and carried her inside, tenderly laying her down on their bed. He then lay down next to her and wrapped himself around her back, wondering sadly about what had happened to the ideal woman he thought he'd married. When he'd awoken the next morning, Seven was gone and he could not find a way out of their home. She had left taunting, accusatory notes all around the house, even changed his access codes so that he couldn't escape from the prison they'd built for themselves.  
  
Seven's rage had taken its toll on her efficiency however: she'd forgotten to disable communications. Chakotay had called Kathryn at Starfleet HQ as soon as he knew what was going on. She was his lifeline for the next hellish week. She talked him out of suicide, out of hating Seven, out of hating himself. She'd helped him to find the reasons that he'd married Seven in the first place, though he knew it gave her great pain to do so. He'd loved her for so long that he'd made himself forget about it: he'd forced himself to reconcile his feelings for Kathryn with the fact that he knew she'd never openly return his affections. That's when he'd convinced himself he was in love with Seven. But of course he didn't tell Kathryn that.  
  
Ironically, after that week, he and Kathryn had drifted apart. He was afraid that Seven would find out about their intimate conversations: to this day he wasn't sure if she had. He'd deleted the communications from the logs, but that certainly wouldn't be enough to stop his wife. He was also terrified of his feelings: it frightened him that after so many years of repressing love for Kathryn, it could come flaming back up like an out of control bonfire in his heart.  
  
And now he was on the same ship with Kathryn, breathing the same air again. The feeling was as terrifying as it was intoxicating. In contrast, he was also trapped inside his quarters with a wife who had become increasingly violent and unstable. He had pledged his life to her, and he would not give up on her, but it meant that he had to resign himself to a less than desirable existence for the duration of their time together. He only hoped Kathryn would wait for him.  
  
"So what do you think Seven?" he asked her gently. "Do you think we can make it?"  
  
Seven looked him dead in the eye, her eyes blazing with defiance. The love that she had felt so strongly at the beginning of their marriage was growing dimmer by the day, but she was stubborn and refused to give up on their contract. The feeling of possessing him so completely made her feel powerful again, as if she were still home in the Collective. When he strayed from her, she had the power to contain him: punish him. When he pleased her, she could extract even more from him by acting as though he would never be sufficient. He was so gentle with her too: she could manipulate that as well.  
  
There were moments when she stopped to take stock and realized that she was not acting on the basis of human love at all, but out of lust and need. Then she would hurry on about her life, willing herself to forget that and to convince herself that love governed all of her actions. She had not had any contact with Admiral Janeway since she was promoted: the fact that she was on this mission at all was a tribute to the Admirals stubbornness and unwillingness to see her slip into madness. It also spoke to her determination to let Seven know that she was loved, though through the cynical fog that clouded her vision Seven could see none of this. All she wanted was to keep Chakotay for her own. "I think I'll keep you," she replied. 


	2. Chapter Two, by Licky

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Licky:  
  
"Always dark- Always deceiving"  
  
Harry sat on the couch in his guest quarters on the new Enterprise, pondering the enormity of space. During his short Starfleet Career, Harry Kim had traveled to the other side of the Galaxy and back. He'd seen things that even a Starfleet Admiral would be excited about: helped to make new discoveries. That's what being in Starfleet was all about.  
  
When he first accepted the Voyager mission, he was so excited. He would get to explore those new places. Exploring is what he had always dreamed of, ever since he was a boy. Harry still sat by the window, wondering. If he knew now of what happened to Voyager, would he still have accepted the mission? On one hand he made many new close friends that he would have died for. But on the other hand, he lost Libby- the love of his life. In the last year of Voyager, Harry had been communicating back and forth with her. She seemed more distant, and not as open as she was before. They tried to start their relationship up again once he got back, but they both realized that they had changed too much. He felt lonely, and un-loved. He missed his friends, his "family" on Voyager, the people whom he had grown so close to. No one talked much anymore. Tom and B'Elanna were too busy with Miral, and rarely had time to answer his messages, and he had not talked to the others in more then a year. His life was falling apart and he hoped that this was the only chance he had to get everyone back together again.  
  
The door chimed, interrupting his thoughts. "Come In," he called.  
  
He looked so different, and Harry hardly recognized his old Commander. "Chakotay?" Harry asked, unsure if his eyes were deceiving him.  
  
"In the flesh. Good to see you again, Lieutenant." Chakotay put stress on Harry's new title, and he liked the way it sounded. "So, how have you been?" Chakotay continued.  
  
"I'm ok- just keeping busy." He had to lie, he wasn't about to tell his old friend and commanding officer that he had been lonely with out all of them, and was actually missing Voyager. "How about you?"  
  
"Oh, I'm fine. Seven and I are settling down."  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"She's great, just loving earth."  
  
"Nice."  
  
Both men stood staring around the room in an awkward silence.  
  
Finally, Chakotay broke the silence, "Well, I just came to give you this." He handed Harry a box with a bow placed on top. "It's just to remember." Without saying goodbye, Chakotay left.  
  
As Harry unwrapped the box he found a picture of all the Senior Staff, on the day the got home. The last day they were all together. "I think I'll Keep you," was all Harry said before he placed the picture on his desk and left for Ten Forward. 


	3. Chapter Three, by Dana Katherine Scully

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
When Jean-Luc Picard entered Chakotay and his wife's quarters, he was shocked to see that there seemed to have been a fight. The furniture was broken, the glass smashed. There was even....good lord there was a bloodstain on one of the glass shards! "Picard to security, get a team to Commander Chakotay's quarters are once."  
  
"That won't be necessary sir," came a hoarse voice from the bedroom. Picard turned to the sound just as Commander Chakotay stepped out of the bedroom, a large gash on his forehead. His shoulders were slumped, his face defeated. Picard had seen the man the day he returned with Voyager: he was tall and proud, with a quiet air of self-assurance. That man was gone: only a glimmer of him remained in the Commander's sad eyes.  
  
"What the hell happened here?" asked Picard urgently. He always managed to sound angry when he felt concerned: force of habit.  
  
"My wife she ah...well she's a bit unstable. Nothing to be concerned about, we just argue sometimes that's all." Chakotay contemplated the Captain's impeccably shined shoes for an instant and then said, "Sir I think my wife and I need some time alone."  
  
"Oh like hell you do," Picard said, a bit more loudly than he intended. He hated to see grown people fighting like children. "The both of you are going to get yourselves down to sickbay immediately!"  
  
"Sir," Chakotay growled, "I said it won't be necessary. Please."  
  
The plea in Chakotay's eyes cried two different things to the Captain. It spoke of Chakotay's pride in himself, but also his desperate desire to escape his fate. "Very well," Picard said, a bit more quietly. "But as soon as you've resolved your differences, I want both of you to report to sickbay. That's an order."  
  
Chakotay nodded, and the Captain let himself out. 


	4. Chapter Four, by Tha1n0nlYVoy Girl

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Tha1n0nlYVoy_Girl:  
  
"I sort of looked forward to get a house of our own when we got back," B'Elanna said loudly, a little blue, as she scrutinized the bare walls in the future bedroom for a suiting place for Miral's bat'leth.  
  
They hadn't gotten any furniture into the rooms yet, only the crib and a few things they could carry right away.  
  
"Yeah, but this trip won't take us another seven years. Besides, it was a too good offer to turn down." Tom had placed the television set in a proper corner in the living room. They had to speak fairly loud to hear one another. "Besides, Miral will spend some of her upbringing aboard a starship."  
  
"But it's not Voyager," B'Elanna sighed and finally hung the sharp weapon on the wall that the crib would be closest to.  
  
"I miss Voyager too. It's a normal reaction. She was our home."  
  
"She was more to me than that. She was a friend to me."  
  
Tom rose from his kneeling position next to the TV, and walked into the room where his wife stood and pondered.  
  
"Of course, you were her doctor. You took care of her heart." Tom walked up close to B'Elanna, and snaked an arm around her shoulders. "That's askew," he commented, eyeing the bat'leth in passing.  
  
"We should get a picture of Voyager to put up somewhere in here." She motioned to the bedroom, and the other three doorways, which posed as the giant mouths of hungry, unknown beasts.  
  
Just as Tom was about to give her his reply, combined with a fresh, growing idea, Miral woke up in the crib. The baby's bed had been hastily placed in the middle of the bedroom floor. These days, child's cry went before anything else.  
  
*  
  
A few hours later, Tom tried out their newly installed replicator unit. He was actually quite satisfied with the result, as the replicator finally seemed to function as desired.  
  
By this time, B'Elanna had gotten her little old bureau from their storage in one of the cargo bays. As usual, when she'd walked through the door, she'd been surprised to meet the airy area she and Tom had been given.  
  
She placed the wooden furniture against a wall, at the head of the crib. She'd also pushed the crib sideways against the wall, directly beneath the hanging bat'leth.  
  
Tom silently walked up behind his wife, who crouching and cursing tried to push a drawer into its proper place. He glanced down at the rumpled sheets in the empty crib, realizing that Harry had offered to take care of Miral for the minutes it took him to walk around a few decks, with the baby in his arms.  
  
"You should have become an interior designer," Tom remarked as B'Elanna stood up to inspect her work. She could be very picky with how she placed things.  
  
She spun around, first unknowing that Tom was there. "I'll be glad when this is over," she muttered and glared at the bureau. "Now we just need something that can stand at the top of this chest of draws."  
  
Unsuspecting, she gave Tom the opportunity to act.  
  
"How about this?" He suggested, showing her a miniature of Voyager. It was only a foot long, but very detailed and exact.  
  
"Did you replicate this?" B'Elanna took the ship in both hands and carefully placed it on top of the empty bureau.  
  
"It's amazing what things there are in the database nowadays."  
  
Tom softly put an arm around B'Elanna's shoulder again, and she idly leaned her head against his.  
  
"It fits there."  
  
B'Elanna smiled, "Miral's going to love it."  
  
"Will you keep it there?" Tom mumbled, suddenly remembering old, crystal clear times aboard the full-scale version of Voyager.  
  
"Yes. I think I'll keep it." 


	5. Chapter Five, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
Seven of Nine watched her husband speak to Captain Picard from the bedroom, her mind a blur of angry colours and paranoid thoughts. He's telling him I can't be trusted: that I'm just a drone. He wants to destroy me. But I won't let him. I have to have him.  
  
She wanted to keep Chakotay: to keep him close, to keep him uncorrupted. She was vaguely conscious of the fact that love was no loner a part of the relationship, but her possessive nature quickly asserted itself and prevented her from contemplating the matter further. For his own part, Chakotay had been snappy and unpleasant to her for a long time, a complication that had driven her to lock him up like she did. The situation was out of control.  
  
Seven got up and padded over to the bathroom, where she stared at her reflection for a good minute. Only then did she noticed the huge gash on her neck. It must have been from when she threw the glass vase at Chakotay. She vaguely recalled feeling a little pain in her neck, but she had no idea it was this bad.  
  
"Seven, we need to talk," Chakotay called. What about?, she thought sarcastically.  
  
"I agree. Where would you like to begin? With your constant betrayals or your false pretenses?"  
  
Chakotay tried to restrain his temper. "Seven, I wish you would be more neutral until we can clear up these misunderstandings. And for that matter, Seven, what about your locking me in the house for a week? And your damned stoicism!" He was yelling now, screaming at her, trying to take his revenge on her ears. "You are one crazy woman Seven!" He feinted a punch at her, scaring her without harming her. "You can't even keep your damn paranoia under control!"  
  
Seven was afraid of him: for the first time in their marriage, indeed the first time since she'd known him, she was terribly afraid. "Chakotay, please, you're scaring me," she whimpered.  
  
"Let me ask you a question Seven," he fumed. "Did you ever love me?"  
  
Seven's face went slack. "I...of course I did," she finally responded.  
  
"But you don't now, do you?" he said, more calmly.  
  
"I...of course I love you. You're my husband."  
  
Chakotay shook his head. "I don't think so."  
  
For the first time, Seven was struck dumb. She couldn't say a word. She wasn't angry, or upset, or annoyed, she was frozen. And sad. God was she sad. "Chakotay, please...don't," she said, a single tear rolling down her cheek.  
  
He sat heavily down on the bed next to her, thoroughly spent. He put a tentative arm around her shoulder and her whole body stiffened. "I'm sorry darling," he said sadly. "I'm so sorry."  
  
He pulled her gently into his arms, careful to avoid her neck. She resisted him for a moment, then gave in and cried. Her heart was breaking just as she was realizing she had one. 


	6. Chapter Six, by Licky

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Licky:  
  
He had to get everything perfect. Geordi had managed to increase the power output levels by 8% and he was working on making Engineering absolutely ship-shape for the new guests. Geordi was excited, and he wanted everything perfect for when Admiral Janeway took the tour of the Fleet's new flagship. He had taken a special interest in Voyager, finding it fascinating and always keeping track of the journey. Now her famous captain was on their ship and eating from their replicators. Amazing.  
  
"Ensign, could you clean over here, It looks a little dusty" La Forge called to one of the engineers. The Ensign did what he was told even though he knew he had cleaned that panel four time already.  
  
Geordi looked around Engineering- HIS engineering approvingly.  
  
"Now that looks good" he said aloud. I only wish Data were here, He continued to himself. A flash of sadness overwhelmed Geordi. It was only a short time ago when Data courageously died for the sake of the Quadrant. Geordi had lost his best friend, and two of his closest friends had left. Only Beverly, the Captain and himself were left, after Worf left to go back to DS9, and now he had to adapt to a new crew and new friends.  
  
Suddenly Geordi found himself walking toward the Turbolift to go visit Beverly. He spent most of his free time there, talking about the good old times.  
  
Geordi walked into Sickbay to find Dr. Crusher in her Office. She glanced up at Geordi and proceeded to get up.  
  
"Problem with your implants again Geordi?" Beverly laughed. "Come on, over here." She pointed to a biobed in the corner of Sickbay.  
  
"Yeah, they seem to be bugging me a lot lately. I really don't know why."  
  
She ran a tricorder over his face and said, "Well I don't see anything wrong, but if you say its bugging you then I suggest you say in Sickbay for a little while."  
  
"Thanks doc."  
  
"So, how are you Geordi?" Beverly took a seat on the opposite bed.  
  
"I'm fine, keeping busy. I've been thinking a lot about Will and Deanna. I haven't got a message from them in a while, I was just wondering if you have talk to them."  
  
"Neither have I, but I guess they are very busy sorting out the Romulans. I'll send them another message tonight." 


	7. Chapter Seven, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
After helping Jean-Luc to recover the holodeck files from the old Enterprise, Kathryn was dirty and a bit disheveled. The bathtub in her room looked very inviting, but she knew that she didn't have time before the reception in Ten-Forward to fully relax, so she let her hair down, stripped her uniform off quickly, and stepped into the sonic shower.  
  
When she was through, she wrapped herself in a towel as she brushed out her again long hair. It felt nice to have it back again. The Doctor had given her hair a growth stimulant at her request: after years of ignoring her appearance, Kathryn had been nervous about returning to Earth with the quick and easy haircut she had finally given herself on Voyager. She knew it was silly, but her appearance had always been important to her, and now more than ever did she want to remain true to herself.  
  
Her hair fully brushed out, Kathryn began to meticulously braid and twist it up into one of the styles her mother used to put her hair into for special occasions. It was a bit more ornamental than her usual business- like bun, and she liked the way it felt.  
  
Starfleet uniforms were all well and good, even pleasant for maintaining professionalism. But there were times that Kathryn felt that with all the work onboard Voyager she'd never had enough time to maintain the side of her that enjoyed dressing up and going out. Though the reception tonight was meant to be casual dress, Kathryn was going to wear one of her old favorites, a knee-length black silk dress with a bit of a daring neckline. The last time she'd worn it was the night of her engagement party, many many years ago. She was conscious of her age (just barely 50), but she felt years younger than the old stigmas predicted that she should.  
  
Chakotay, however, seemed every bit his age. Kathryn remembered his week of hell vividly, beginning with the moment that she'd received the call from him. She'd been in the middle of a meeting with some of the most notorious Maquis leaders, and Chakotay's communication had forced her to leave the meeting nearly an hour early. When she first turned on her view screen she was frustrated and annoyed. "What do you want Chakotay?" she recalled asking. He told her what had happened, about how Seven had locked him in the house. She immediately cancelled the rest of the meeting, devoting all of her attention to helping her friend through his ordeal.  
  
Over the course of that week, they were more intimate than they'd been since New Earth, since the moment he'd revealed his bathtub to her and silently proclaimed his love. He confided in her, told her everything. He left nothing out, no detail went unspoken. He asked for her help in keeping him from doing himself harm, she in turn provided him with a shoulder to cry on. They cried together, laughed together, panicked together...they spent every waking moment on the comm system, talking him through. The depth of their bond amazed her. And then Seven came back into the picture, and all communications from him ended almost immediately. Kathryn's defense system immediately erected walls around her heart, and she made little attempts to recontact him. She was hoping that tonight she could apologize for her behavior and check in on him.  
  
Meanwhile, Jean-Luc was torn between conflicting emotions. He was deeply grieved by the loss of his friend Data, but he was also deeply in love with his CMO (a fact that Kathryn herself figured out), and the two opposing sentiments were driving him to distraction. They'd been trying to manually reroute power from one of the Enterprise E's holodeck control consoles through one of the secondary EPS conduits on the bridge (a very delicate procedure) when Beverly called him over the comm system. He nearly blew the circuit trying to tap his comm badge at the sound of her voice.  
  
She told him that Geordi had just been to visit her, and that he was still struggling desperately with losing Data. Jean-Luc replied that they were all having difficulties, and Kathryn saw a hint of intense sorrow in her friend's eyes. They shared an involuntary moment of silence in reverence to their lost comrade, and then Beverly turned the topic to something much more cheerful. "Jean-Luc I was hoping that we might attend tonight's reception in Ten-Forward together." Of course he said yes and that he'd pick her up at her quarters at 2000 hours if that was alright. The sorrow in his eyes was replaced with a kind of childish anticipation overlaying a deeply affectionate reflection, and Kathryn finally completely understood what was going on. She was happy for them, they both needed the companionship.  
  
The computer's reminder that the reception began in ten minutes snapped Kathryn out of her reverie. She quickly began to apply her makeup: still a production despite all of the technological advancements of the past century. She smoothed on a thin layer of a new foundation (palest ivory of course), then brushed on her favorite blush. She smoothed on a brown eye shadow that made her eyes seem ablaze, and brushed on a coat of black mascara. Almost as an afterthought, Kathryn quickly smeared on a coat of deep berry-coloured lipstick. It wasn't perfect, but there was no time to play around with it. As she took one last glance in the mirror, Kathryn took a hard look at herself. She saw a self-confident, independent, iron- willed, and brave woman: one whom she'd never truly seen in the mirror before. I think I'll keep you, she thought to her reflection. 


	8. Chapter Eight, by Red Quacker

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Red Quacker:  
  
Just then, Kathryn heard the familiar beeping noise at her door.  
  
"Enter," she said with eager anticipation.  
  
Jean-Luc stepped through the doors in his ordinary Starfleet uniform. His face was pale as a ghost and his hands were trembling.  
  
"Jean-Luc, what's wrong?" Kathryn asked with concern, "And why are you wearing that uniform?"  
  
"Kathryn, I have heard some very disturbing news," he said, trying to compose himself.  
  
"What is it, Jean-Luc? Has the party been cancelled?" Though she tried to hide it, she was very agitated.  
  
"No," he replied, "It's Data. He's back. And he's gone completely mad."  
  
Captain Kathryn Janeway was horrified. "But Jean-Luc, I thought Data--"  
  
"Yes yes, I know what you thought!" Jean-Luc snapped. "But he's back, dammit!"  
  
A look of genuine concern and hurt crept across Kathryn's face.  
  
Jean-Luc cast his eyes down. "I'm sorry. It's just..."  
  
"I know how much Data meant to you, Jean-Luc. There's no need to apologize."  
  
"Kathryn, there's something else... I believe that we all may be in even graver danger. It seems that Data is not alone."  
  
Kathryn was alarmed.  
  
Jean-Luc continued, "As best I can...piece together with all of the chaos that has been going on, Data was captured and reassembled somehow by members of the Dominion."  
  
"The Dominion? How..."  
  
"Yes. They're shape shifters, Kathryn. You've read all of the reports. You know what they're capable of. Two of them tried to kill me not more than an hour ago, along with their new, improved Data. Fortunately I had a phasor with me and I was able to kill them. But after I had done so, they shape shifted back into humans, in the form of Starfleet officers."  
  
Kathryn shook her head. "This is all too much. It's like something out of a bad holonovel."  
  
"I'm not lying damn you!" Jean-Luc roared. After seeing Kathryn recoil again, he collected himself. "I need you to know that I'm telling you the truth."  
  
Kathryn was concerned yet again. "Jean-Luc, it's just...you sound so strange."  
  
Just then, the doors of Janeway's quarters flew open. Five armed Starfleet security guards entered the room. One of them pointed his phasor rifle directly at the face of Jean-Luc Picard. "Captain, I am placing you under arrest."  
  
"What is he being charged with?!" Kathryn demanded.  
  
"The murder of two Starfleet security officers. Put down your weapons."  
  
Jean-Luc ran around the desk and stood at Janeway's side. "Don't listen to them, Kathryn," he said quickly, "They're all shape shifters! Starfleet has been infiltrated!"  
  
One of the other guards spoke. "He's had a breakdown, Admiral. He's lost his senses. Please, put down your weapons."  
  
Kathryn Janeway looked at them all uncertainly. 


	9. Chapter Nine, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
Jean-Luc looked wildly about, struggling against his captors. "Kathryn, please...." he pleaded. "It's all true I'm telling you! All of it! Data...oh Data no...." His eyes darted around the room, trying to find a way to escape. But his normally sharp mind was fuzzy and he couldn't focus on anything. All he could do was plead. "Kathryn please, don't let them take me away."  
  
He watched her for any sign that she would help him but her face was a practiced mask: no trace of emotion at all. "Please..." he said again. But he could struggle no longer, and the guards finally escorted him out of her quarters to the brig.  
  
*  
  
Kathryn stood frozen for a full minute after they dragged Jean-Luc out of her room. She didn't know where to turn: what to believe. Fortunately, events made her mind up for her. As she turned to follow the guards to sick bay, she heard the door of her quarters open and there stood Data.  
  
Silence reigned for several seconds, and then he took a step towards her. His uniform was torn and burned, his communicator melted onto the fabric. His face seemed slightly distorted: it took her a moment to realize that it was heat damage.  
  
"Well Mr. Data," she said cautiously, turning to face him squarely. "You certainly are the man of the hour."  
  
He cocked his head slightly to the side in a gesture she remembered well from the days that she had watched him from afar. "Admiral, I know that this must seem odd to see me back, but I assure you: I am me. Captain Picard has started to show the first signs of Irumodic Syndrome: he has begun to hallucinate. I am afraid that there is nothing that can be done for him. As to my mysterious reappearance, I have no memory of how or why I was reassembled, or by whom. As far as."  
  
"Mr. Data," the admiral interrupted, "I think it would be prudent for us to take you to sickbay and have your memory engrams examined. Maybe we can reconstruct the events leading to your reappearance."  
  
"I concur admiral. But first I wish to visit a friend. I believe that Geordi will want to see me."  
  
"Very well then Mr. Data. I've been meaning to tour engineering myself." 


	10. Chapter Ten, by Licky

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Licky:  
  
Almost the whole crew of Voyager was mingling in Ten forward, with the exception of the senior staff of both Voyager and Enterprise, awaiting the start of the party. Most had kept in close contact with each other over the years, and had not drifted apart as the Senior staff had. Most had formed into small groups, consisting of their close friends- their family. Off in a corner, unnoticed, sat the Doctor. He couldn't be seen very well and was hidden under the darkness of space. He had in his hand a glass of brown ale, too warm to drink since he had be swirling it around in his hand for too long.  
  
He watched the crew remember old stories and experiences. Many had brought their family aboard, for this reunion. The doctor thought back to Voyager, the place where he had grown, and learned to love. Now he sat in the corner, forgotten by the happy families.  
  
"Disgusting." The doctor's voice was cold and menacing. "They really are pitiful creatures." He mused that he sounded a lot like one of the many aliens that he had come across with over the 7 years. "I should have believed him. He told me that they are all the same. I was just shielded from the truth. Now I can finally see."  
  
Ever since he had stepped off Voyager on that triumphant day, he had been ignored. Starfleet asked nothing of him, and still only treated him as just a hologram. The crew forgot him, thinking only of their families. Who was he to go to? He had no one. The only people he had ever known were those in this crew. He still held hope in the Senior staff, the people who were his best friends. No one called. No one even cared.  
  
He swirled his drink once more. "I think I'll keep you" he said softly to the drink, the only one who took a notice of him in this dark corner. 


	11. Chapter Eleven, by Saoirse Granger

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Saoirse_Granger:  
  
"Beverly?"  
  
"It's me, Jean-Luc. We need to get you out of here."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're in the brig, remember?"  
  
"Ah, yes."  
  
She pulled out her tricorder and ran it up and down in front of him. "I knew it." She snapped the top of the tricorder shut. "Admiral Janeway told me Data had said to her that you had the early symptoms of Irumodic Syndrome. Liar."  
  
"Irumodic syndrome? Me? Oh, no, Beverly."  
  
"No, you don't have it. Data, or that thing, was lying. Meaning it wasn't Data." She went over to the computer terminal. "Computer, remove forcefield on cell 258, authorization Beta Gamma Nine Zero."  
  
"Access denied."  
  
"Dammit. Think, Jean-Luc. Who put you in here?"  
  
"Some strange guards. Don't know who they were, but they're not from this ship."  
  
"Crusher to Janeway."  
  
"Janeway here."  
  
"Can you come down to the brig immediately? I need your help."  
  
"On my way. Janeway out."  
  
Jean-Luc looked at Beverly with a look of mingled question and lust.  
  
"Girl Power," she replied simply.  
  
*  
  
The Admiral's security code had opened Jean-Luc's cell, and he was free. "What time is it?"  
  
Janeway called up the chronometer on the terminal screen. "1924."  
  
"Oh, good. Data or no Data, the show must go on. You're still coming tonight, Beverly?"  
  
Beverly laughed and nodded.  
  
Kathryn looked at them both with an expression of mock disbelief.  
  
*  
  
"May I have this dance, Beverly?"  
  
"Sure. But you don't dance."  
  
"Times change."  
  
"Yeah.right."  
  
Kathryn laughed as Beverly grimaced, Jean-Luc's foot heavily on hers.  
  
She wished it could have worked. Seven didn't deserve Chakotay. She was only hurting him more. She watched them dancing, Seven not quite at home with the whole "enjoy yourself" theory. Chakotay looked down, he knew he's made the wrong decision, but he also knew it could have worked. Kathryn could see the doubt in his eyes. There would have been no doubt if he'd chosen her. "I think I'll keep you," she thought. 


	12. Chapter Twelve, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
Admiral Janeway was awakened later that night by the red alert sirens. Commander LaForge's voice came over the comm system as she was springing up from her bed. "Attention all crew members. The Captain and Doctor Crusher are missing. Anyone who might have information about their whereabouts, report to security headquarters immediately."  
  
Kathryn took it upon herself to go to the bridge. "Voyager crew, report to the bridge," she said over the comm. Jean-Luc was missing, Data was...well they didn't know what Data was, and Beverly had disappeared with him. Suddenly a thought occurred to her. "Computer locate Commander Data."  
  
"Commander Data is not onboard."  
  
"When did he leave the ship?"  
  
"Unable to comply. Insufficient sensor data."  
  
Very clever Data, she thought.  
  
*  
  
"Commander Chakotay."  
  
Harry Kim greeted his friend as he entered the bridge, his eyes already scanning for signs of trouble. "Where is the Admiral?"  
  
Chakotay's sad eyes pierced Harry's cool persona, but he would not allow his discomfort to show. After a moment of staring pleadingly at Harry, Chakotay replied, "I don't know lieutenant."  
  
"Admiral Janeway is most certainly on her way. She would not stray unless it was important," interjected Tuvok, his Vulcan logic still impeccable.  
  
Just then Admiral Janeway burst onto the bridge. "We've got a problem. Data's disappeared. Along with those already known to be gone." Without even waiting for a reply from the officers on the bridge, she tapped her commbadge and barked, "Janeway to Commander LaForge."  
  
"LaForge here," she heard.  
  
"Get me all long range sensor data that might locate Commander Data."  
  
"May I ask why Admiral?"  
  
"Certainly. I think he abducted the captain and Doctor Crusher."  
  
*  
  
"Beverly," Jean-Luc croaked. His head was throbbing so hard that he couldn't open his eyes, his throat felt as if someone had poured acid into him, and he couldn't feel his feet. He was vaguely conscious of Beverly's presence, but couldn't quite recall why.  
  
"Jean-Luc," he heard faintly. "I'm...my head aches. I can't see."  
  
"Just a moment," he said, his vocal chords mounting a protest. "Where are you?"  
  
"Right.....here." Her warm hand fell heavily against his cheek. Her nails bit into his flesh a bit but it was nice to feel her touch. "I think we've been injected with something Jean-Luc. I feel warm: too warm."  
  
"Now that you mention it..." He could feel the heat beginning to flow through him, a crimson tide through his body. It felt odd. Strange and foreign, this tide of warmth spreading over him. He started to feel a bit dizzy: he could tell he wasn't quite thinking straight. His head was starting to clear up though.  
  
After a long moment, Jean-Luc sat up and forced his eyes open. It didn't really do much good, as they were in near total darkness, but at least he knew he could. He turned to look for Beverly and found her, the line of her body at a forty-five degree angle relative to his. Almost exactly a forty- five degree angle. "Beverly, look at this!" he exclaimed suddenly. There were phosphorescent, fairly androgynous body outlines on the floor arranged in a circle on the floor, and he and Beverly had been placed into two consecutive ones. The body outlines appeared to be vaguely male and female humanoid shapes, arranged in pairs.  
  
Beverly rose slowly into a sitting position, wincing as she went. "It appears to be some sort of....ceremonial arrangement. Possibly a ritual of some kind."  
  
"Or a tomb," he whispered. "Most ceremonial rituals involve light of some sort, except for those relating to death. Those vary greatly, but many are performed in total darkness. Beverly, they could have placed us here to die."  
  
*  
  
"Starfleet command this is Admiral Kathryn Janeway aboard the Enterprise. I have contacted you to inform you of our situation." Sitting behind Captain Picard's desk in his Ready Room was uncomfortable. Sitting behind Picard's desk in Picard's Ready Room and contacting Starfleet command about temporarily usurping it....now that was just plain odd.  
  
"The Captain and Chief Medical Officer have been abducted, we think by a former member of this crew who was presumed dead but recently reappeared. Commander LaForge is devoted to his duties in Engineering, and because of his absence and "limbo" status of the ship's command structure, I am requesting permission to temporarily command the Enterprise until we can safely recover the Captain and CMO."  
  
Admiral Nakamura was silent for a long moment. "Admiral, we can send other ships to assist you if you wish," he finally said, markedly ignoring her request.  
  
"I do not believe that will be necessary for the time being. But I would ask you to consider my proposal."  
  
The Senior Admiral nodded. "Consider it done. The ship's chief security officer will be able to assist you in transferring your command codes."  
  
Kathryn nodded curtly. "Thank you Admiral. May I also request permission to install some of the former Voyager crew members in command positions? The Doctor can take over in sickbay and I'm sure Commander LaForge could use some help in engineering..."  
  
"One step at a time Admiral. The Doctor may take over in sickbay and I presume you'll want to select a first officer, but otherwise the rest of your former crew should remain as observers."  
  
"Sir, with all due respect..."  
  
"That is final Kathryn."  
  
Admiral Janeway started forcefully at Nakamura for a good long moment, then said, "Understood sir."  
  
"Oh and Kathryn. Your first officer should be a Starfleet officer. And I don't mean those you commissioned yourself. Anything further?"  
  
Kathryn was raging inside, but all she could sputter out was, "No sir."  
  
*  
  
The luminescence of the body outlines on the ground was beginning to disturb Beverly slightly. She slid a little closer to Jean-Luc, her hands nervously searching out his form in the dark. When she touched his side blindly, she felt heat radiating off of him in waves. "Jean-Luc are you alright?"  
  
She heard his ragged breathing next to her and his hoarse whisper of, "Never better."  
  
She herself had begun to sweat a little, but the effects of whatever they'd been given certainly were not wearing off. She became as cautious as her muddled brain would allow. "Jean-Luc what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
She started as she felt his hot breath against her ear, "How are you, Doctor Crusher?"  
  
"Jean-Luc, I really think...oh dear."  
  
She had felt a slight tickle in her ear and realized that his tongue had just flicked across her earlobe. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded half-heartedly. On the outside, she was confused. On the inside, she was cheering.  
  
"Just...making you feel...more at home," he said as his mouth continued to flit around her outer ear. She couldn't hold back anymore. She had to...she had to do something. Turning suddenly to face him she whispered against his mouth, "I think I'll keep you." Then she kissed him. Hard.  
  
*  
  
"I am under orders from Starfleet command to temporarily take command of this vessel. Admiral Nakamura has asked me to choose a first officer from the Starfleet officers onboard. His definition of a Starfleet officer is one who received their commission from Starfleet Command. I disagree. Chakotay, I am appointing you as my first officer. The rest of the Voyager family has been asked by Starfleet to remain onboard as observers. Well observe you shall." Kathryn's bold speech was only halfway through, and already the crew was beginning to regain some of their old spark. "Observe and act. B'Elanna, I want you in engineering to assist Commander LaForge. Remember that he still is the chief engineer. Seven, I'll need you in stellar cartography. I'm sure you'll feel right at home. You may assist Lt. Com. Jirta and the rest of the science staff in that section. Harry, take Ops. Tuvok, tactical. Tom, you're at the controls. Ensigns," she commanded to those in those positions, "I want you to observe the actions of these gentlemen very carefully. You can learn a lot from this. As for the rest of you, I'm sure that you can find many ways to assist in your areas of expertise." Kathryn was almost breathless with the excitement of this act. She knew she would regret it later, but right now she finally felt at home again. Desks simply did not agree with her: force of habit, she supposed. "All hands this is Admiral Janeway. The actions that I am taking now are entirely my responsibility. I will take full responsibility for these events. Now get to your posts."  
  
Janeway's commands had astounded the Enterprise's original crew, but the Voyager family members merely smiled and went enthusiastically to their stations. Finally they would have the chance to act!  
  
"Captain," Tuvok intoned, disrupting her reverie. "Starfleet is hailing. They want to know if everything is proceeding as planned."  
  
"Tell them...." she stopped, taking a deep breath. "Tell them that all is well."  
  
The characteristic Vulcan eyebrow greeted her little white lie, but Tuvok knew better than to question her. "Yes Admiral."  
  
The com system chirped. "LaForge to Admiral Janeway."  
  
"Janeway here."  
  
"Admiral, I'm not sure about this, but I think I may be able to find out where Data has gone. He took one of our shuttle and disabled the tracking signal but I've managed to find his warp signature."  
  
"Transfer those coordinates to the helm Commander. Excellent work. Janeway out. Helm, set a course."  
  
"Aye Captain."  
  
"Engage at warp 6 on my mark. Engage."  
  
*  
  
Beverly awoke and felt her head on a firm but soft...something. It was warm, and rising and falling nearly in time with her heartbeat.  
  
"Shit!" she exclaimed when she realized what was happening. She jumped up and cast wildly about for her uniform. She had fallen asleep, naked, on a very naked Jean-Luc. "Oh my God, oh my God," she kept repeating, more softly so as not to wake him. She could not quite remember what happened, but she had a vague image of waking up in this room before. She vaguely realized that her eyes must have adjusted well to the dark because she could see shapes and some colours close to her. As she struggled with her pants, she heard him stir. A feeling somewhat akin to revulsion went through her. She had always been terrified of things that she didn't quite understand, and this not knowing what had happened made her very touchy. The thought that she and Jean-Luc could have done...it...here...it made her very uneasy. And when Beverly was uneasy, her emotions had a bad habit of crossing over themselves. She was almost revolted by the site of her long- time friend. Deep down she loved him still, but in her jumbled brain he was someone she no longer understood, could no longer trust.  
  
"What the hell..." she heard as she pulled her shirt over her head. Her back had been turned to Jean-Luc, but as he jumped up she turned toward him. "Beverly what the devil is going on?" he demanded.  
  
"I don't know sir."  
  
Jean-Luc looked at her warily. He was naked and she was fully clothed, and calling him sir. She hadn't called him sir in a long time. "Beverly where is my uniform?"  
  
"Right behind you sir."  
  
"Thank you." He nodded curtly at her. He was suspicious of her suddenly, suspicious of their situation. He was also a bit embarrassed by his being totally naked in from of her while she was fully clothed. What the devil had happened?  
  
He dressed very quickly (or as quickly as one can in almost total darkness) and turned away from his friend. He needed some time to think, to try to remember what had happened.  
  
They had suddenly become exceedingly uncomfortable with each other: layers of suspicion were burying the old camaraderie they shared. What had happened? Had they been acting on their own? Was one of them betraying the other? Neither knew. But they did know that they were trapped together in a dark room with outlines of bodies glowing on the floor.  
  
*  
  
Adat turned from his wall of laboratory view screens. He'd been trying to observe significant activity from Lab 116, but the human subjects there just did not seem to be doing anything. He knew them vaguely: the original inhabitant of his circuits had known them quite well: he retained fragments of memories of them. He had a feeling they would not be very conversational for a while. Humans. They were so complex.  
  
Adat spun around in his chair to face another view screen in his observatory. It was a smaller screen than the others, marked "Playback" in several major languages. He called up the record of Lab 116 and watched with satisfaction as his favorite parts of their interaction played out. He supposed that his meddling with the test subjects had influence the outcome quite a bit, but how could he resist? The consequences were so delicious!  
  
He had wanted to observe human mating rituals, but he knew it would probably take a long time for the two humans he had managed to capture to mate, so he simply...sped up the process a bit. He hadn't anticipated the weakness of their hormone response systems however. Since he knew that their little group...Planet Armada or something like that...was nearly completely run by humans, he gave his two human test subjects enough sex hormone to make a Vulcan horny, suspecting that the human race must be far superior in logic and emotional control even to Vulcans. Unfortunately (or fortunately for the somewhat sex-deprived android), this completely overwhelmed their senses, and each of the 7 days that it had taken for the hormone to wear off had been a constant stream of different types of mating (his highest count was 10 different ways on the third day!). The dosage of hormone effectively destroyed their abilities to form new memories however, so when they awoke on the 8th day (today), when the hormone had worn off, they hadn't the slightest idea what had happened. What was even more delicious to Adat's dramatic brain was the fact that the lack of artificial stimulation had left them both incredibly irritable and depressed, because their brains had not had time to compensate for the lack of outside stimulant. So now they were extremely suspicious of each other, and being particularly snappy.  
  
The voice of the former inhabitant of his circuits played softly in the back of his mind, "This is wrong." But he ignored it. Data had been so damn loyal to them anyway. As he turned back to his lab monitors, Adat immediately sought out Lab 116. The two humans were now fighting bitterly, staggering a bit in the dark. "They must be very sore!" he thought evilly. "I think I will keep you, my dears," he said, stroking the monitor. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen, by Licky

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Licky:  
  
The new crew of the Enterprise hardly knew the Captain and the CMO but they had all heard of the courageous stories of the old crew's missions. Everyone new cadet dreamed of being assigned to the famous USS Enterprise, and most definitely under the command on Captain Jean-Luc Picard.  
  
It had been 2 weeks since their disappearance, and even though this fresh crew didn't know them, their mind was still on edge that they had to deal with a new captain, and senior staff. The admiral and her crew were, of course, good officers, but something about a bunch of ex-Maquis helping to run the ship put everyone on edge.  
  
Engineering was the worst. What would normally have been an enjoyable shift, turned out to be a constant fight and hustle between jobs. This new Assistant Chief engineer was more of a hard ass then the Commander him self. She was pushy and always expected more. A few of the new ensigns had to take a couple shifts off to visit the conselour. Fortunately B'Elanna Torres didn't hear about this.  
  
Geordi, being one of the only senior staff members left on the Enterprise, felt outnumbered. He missed his friends, but tried his best to get along with the new crew. Everything was foreign. Even the new Enterprise, with all its new technology, didn't feel right.  
  
He and B'Elanna got along well, but he did feel as if she had she was threatened by his position, especially since she was the only member of Voyager's Senior staff that didn't get a senior position. So he let her take charge in there. He was still Engineering Chief, but it was HER engineering now.  
  
*  
  
Picard sat down on a small boulder in the corner of the "prison" they were in.  
  
What had happened? He couldn't remember anything specific, but the faint memory of passion was in his head. "It must have been one crazy night." he thought, aimlessly staring over at Beverly. She was trying to cut a strip of material off her uniform and tie it around an open cut on her shoulder. Her hair was covered in soot and tossed all around her head. There were large smears of dirt across her cheeks that never seemed to fade.  
  
"God she looked beautiful." he thought, still hiding his passion behind hatred.  
  
They had been fighting for days now, it was so hard to keep track. There were hours that felt like days and days that would pass in a matter of minutes. He closed his eyes and could still feel her soft chest rise and fall slowly, in unison with his own.  
  
"I have to tell her the truth," he muttered.  
  
Picard rose from his boulder and walked up to Beverly. Kneeling down, he took her hand in his.  
  
"I think I'll keep you." They were such simple words, but they meant so much.  
  
She tilted her head and looked him in the eye.  
  
"Will you really?" Beverly turned her head and walked away. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen, by Saoirse Granger

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Saoirse_Granger:  
  
She woke up in the middle of the night. It was really quite comfy here, nicer than where she'd been before. She sat up and licked a paw daintily, wiping her ears and face with it.  
  
There were no other signs of life in the room, not even that of the One Who Brought Her Food every morning. There was only the warmth of the fluffy bed she was sitting in: apparently there were no heat lamps here, like there had been in the cage. But this was nicer than the cage.  
  
She fell asleep again, hoping for a warm body to come so she could sit on it.  
  
*  
  
She woke up again in the morning, and sauntered into the bathroom. She was parched. She jumped up on to what she thought was the nearest source of water. Too right: it was water.  
  
Jumping back on the floor and attempting to dry off her coat, she looked around.  
  
Suddenly the door opened, and some strange looking things walked in the door. Ah ha! Warm bodies! But they didn't look like they were about to sit down for any length of time. So she busied herself wrapping her body around their ankles, making the biggest one stumble.  
  
"What the." it said.  
  
"Meow."  
  
"That's.not Spot," said Geordi, amazed.  
  
Worf resisted the temptation to kick the cat. But then it fixed him with a stare, one akin to the one he knew from.from where?  
  
He knew that expression. Deanna.  
  
He picked up the cat, despite its very vocal protest.  
  
I think I'll keep you, he thought silently.  
  
*  
  
She couldn't really remember what had happened. Just that she was here now, with him, and he was not being very civil. She could barely remember feeling his arms around her, fighting to loosen the zip on her uniform.  
  
Then there was nothing. But she could guess what might have happened. And she wasn't sure how to feel about that.  
  
She shouldn't really have walked off like that. He'd only wanted to make it up. But if.if they *had*, she had a right not to want to know him.  
  
Yet if they had, she had a duty to want to know him, to love him more than ever. She looked over her shoulder to see a rather dejected Jean-Luc sitting in the corner, next to one of the fluorescent shapes. He was tracing the outline with his finger, humming quietly to himself.  
  
He didn't look like he needed company, but she did.  
  
"Jean-Luc?" she said timidly.  
  
"What?" he snapped.  
  
"Sorry.I.I wanted you to.to know that.I'm sorry. For my reaction to your." she stopped, unable to find the right word.  
  
He pondered this statement a moment. "And I'm sorry too. For ever suggesting it."  
  
"No - Jean-Luc. I think I'll keep you, too."  
  
He fixed her with a steely glare. "And if I've changed my mind.?"  
  
She turned around and went back to staring at the room around her. She knew when she wasn't wanted. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
"Acting Captain Janeway's log, Stardate 34528.4. The search for Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher continues, but the few leads that we have are a jumble of confused images and vague memories from questionable members of unknown species. Needless to say, we're not getting anywhere. The only information we have is that Data-or whatever he has become-is gone, and that he took a shuttle with him. Aside from Mr. LaForge's original detection of the warp signature, we cannot trace the shuttle, nor can we determine if Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher were even aboard, or if Data's strange reappearance is related. Commander Tuvok has been working with Lt. Worf to piece together evidence, but the partnership (being between a Vulcan and a Klingon) has its problems. Commander LaForge..."  
  
The chirping of the comm system interrupted Admiral Janeway's log entry. Her response dripped of the annoyance and sarcasm that had been building steadily in her since this mission began. Instinctively she slapped her comm badge. "Yes!"  
  
There was a pause. Chakotay's voice came over the comm system. "I'm sorry Admiral: is this a bad time?" Something in his voice cut Kathryn to the core. He was afraid. He was genuinely afraid of something.  
  
"No it's all right Chakotay. What do you need?"  
  
"Well, Worf and Tuvok just...well they just had a fight."  
  
God dammit!!! she thought. "Is anyone seriously hurt?" she said.  
  
"They're both in sickbay."  
  
There was a long pause.  
  
"Chakotay is that all?"  
  
Silence. The transmission ended abruptly.  
  
"Chakotay? Chakotay!"  
  
*  
  
Beverly was sick. Very sick. She was ready to faint, and was constantly retching. The absence of light or vitamin supplements had lead to a severe vitamin deficiency in both of them, and her medical brain vaguely recognized the symptoms. They also hadn't been fed for hours: probably since they arrived.  
  
Jean-Luc had been vomiting as well, several times in the last two hours. His terrible retching was so grating that she cringed every time he did it. 24th century medicine had not prepared humans to face 21st century diseases, and so-called stomach bugs were no longer around, so no one had any immunity. Beverly was afraid that they had been exposed to some kind of early virus, and she knew of no cure.  
  
Jean-Luc struggled to see Beverly's pale face in the dark. Her eyes were sunken in, he noticed. He felt sorry for her. Despite his revulsion at their condition, and his unfounded revulsion of her, he felt desperately sorry. He was so confused: one moment he was set entirely against her, the next he felt a pang in his heart, the next he wanted to weep in her arms like a child. The nausea that was racking their bodies was debilitating, forcing them to remain lying down on opposite sides of the room. It took away any desire they had left to reconcile and discuss their situation, and it left them powerless to try to escape. Perhaps that was the point...  
  
*  
  
Adat chuckled as he watched Beverly suddenly clutch her stomach. Here she goes again! he thought, delighting in the sheer delinquency of his mind. The two humans had begun to attempt to reconcile their differences, and Adat was convinced that they would not. He was nearly finished with his study--only a few hours remained--but he thought illness made an interesting additional element to study. The nice 21st century bug he diffused into the stale air of the lab had done its job efficiently. They were not reconciled and had become so weak that they could barely move. He needed them to be weak.  
  
Adat's intention had never been to absorb their emotions, merely to study them, but he found that he began to share the Captain's affections for the lovely Beverly. He wanted to have his share of her too. He wanted to experience what they had experienced. But he knew she'd never go willingly, and he also knew that the Captain wouldn't let her. So he was going to weaken them both to get minimal resistance. After he was finished with her, he would leave them both on a nice M-class planet somewhere to deal with their issues: it wasn't his problem what happened to them after that. He decided to be merciful and leave a homing beacon with them.  
  
Adat began to pack up the beacon. It was time to go. 


	16. Chapter Sixteen, by Licky and DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Licky/Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
"Tell me, what were you thinking through all of this. You both are experienced Star Fleet officers, and now your fighting like a couple of first year cadets!" Taking all her anger and frustration she had accumulated over the past few days out on these less then deserving officers, Admiral Janeway stood in front of the bloody Worf and Tuvok.  
  
"I thought you had better sense in you Tuvok."  
  
"I am sorry, Captain. It will not happen again," he apologized  
  
"It better not, because next time it does I am personally putting you both in the brig." she turned to the Doc, "Doctor, how long till they can return to active duty."  
  
"In about 10 minutes. The regeneration will take about that long."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Hmm." The doctor smirked and walked away.  
  
Nobody ever appreciates me. They probably would never even realize if I turned myself off. Only if they have a 'Medical Emergency'. "Oh no I got a paper cut! Help me!" Ha I could perform brain surgery, but all they need me for is cuts and bruises. The doctor smirked to himself. Who is the more primitive creature here?  
  
"Well if the two of you aren't planning to get into anymore brawls any time soon, I'm going to the bridge where there are real problems to be solved." The two men didn't miss the sarcasm in Admiral Janeway's voice as she turned on her heel an marched out of sickbay.  
  
"I am...Sorry." Worf managed to get out, refusing to look at Tuvok. "I acted out of place."  
  
"I made a wrong decision. I am the one who is wrong. I suggest we get back to work, before Admiral Janeway decides to proceed with her threat."  
  
Worf stared at the Vulcan. Was that a joke? A Vulcan? "Agreed."  
  
*  
  
Jean-Luc stirred from his deep dream. It was about Beverly. He smiled just from the faint memory of her. Slowly he was brought back to reality, and away from his peaceful dream by a loud humming from beneath him. His vision was blurry and dark. Where am I?  
  
As his mind started to clear, the past days came flooding back to him. "My God," he whispered. He opened his eyes to see her huddled in a corner, a couple of meters from his body.  
  
Beverly's quiet sobbing disturbed Jean-Luc. She seemed...smaller than before, more frail. The twenty pounds she'd lost in captivity hadn't helped, but there was something else, something more elementary. She looked afraid. She was terrified of something. As soon as she saw him looking at her she froze: paralyzed by fear. Then she scampered away from him, as far as the confines of this new environment allowed. "Beverly?" he whispered, hoping to sound comforting. He watched, astonished, as she nearly choked and tried to practically run through the wall. When she couldn't she began to whimper: quietly at first, then louder and louder until she was screaming and wailing. She kept her legs tightly clenched together. Jean- Luc could vaguely make out the three large, bleeding bite marks on Beverly's shoulder, uncovered because the sleeve of her uniform had been torn clean off, taking with it the section of the black top which covered her delicate, ivory neck. It was also the side of the uniform that her rank pips had adorned.  
  
Suddenly, Jean-Luc slapped his hand to his collar where his own pips were. They had been taken from his uniform. His mind raced. The bite marks on Beverly, their "de-rankings"...it brought to mind a psychology lesson he'd received at the Academy. It was about rape and sexualized crime, and he remembered his instructor reminding the class that rapists often wanted to degrade their victims with biting, stabbing, and often removal of clothing. Had Beverly been raped? "Oh my God..." he said, disgusted and afraid. It didn't take night-vision to see that Beverly was trying very hard to conceal her private parts from him as rape victims often did. "Oh my God, oh my God...." he kept repeating, like a mantra.  
  
He had to do something, comfort her, touch her, know she was alright..."Oh God Beverly no no no..."  
  
He made a sudden move in her direction and she screamed, smashing her fist against the wall and the floor. "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!!!!" she shrieked. Then more quietly, "No, no, please no, no don't...you're hurting me! Data you're hurting me!"  
  
DATA! Jean-Luc's blood boiled. Data was responsible for this, for their kidnapping! Data!! He had...he had done THIS to her.  
  
"Beverly it's me, Jean-Luc. I'm right here. I won't hurt you. I'm not going anywhere. Come to me Beverly."  
  
*  
  
Adat re-sedated the Captain and Doctor several hours after they had departed from his lab. Well, he re-sedated the Captain. The doctor he...well he sedated her all right. His mouth watered at the thought. How stimulating, to see her writhing and screaming and pleading beneath her. The composition of her flesh was still fresh in his mind: he made a mental note to capture another human and study their tasting centers. He was sure that flesh tasted good.  
  
The M-class planet he had picked loomed on the view screen, and Adat absentmindedly initiated landing procedures. He had modified the shuttle computer to a quantum system, so it would think on its own while he finished his business with Doctor Crusher.  
  
*  
  
The door to the shuttle bay slid open, the silhouette of the pasty white, yellow-eyed Adat at the door. Beverly's haunted eyes widened in terror, and she started to scream, but Jean-Luc was soundly sedated and she was alone. The horrours she had already experienced were enough: she felt she'd rather be dead.  
  
"Hello Doctor," he growled, pacing towards her like a bloodhound on a scent. "I hope you've enjoyed your time to think."  
  
His hand came down like an anvil on her cheek, and she could feel the skin split on contact. She bit her lip so hard it bled. Son of a bitch!!! she kept thinking, the words blazing in her brain but never quite making it to her lips. She hated herself in that moment. She was completely powerless, overcome, and alone. Damn it!! Damn it!  
  
He was already prying her legs open, fighting her weakened muscles till she gave in. He spread them too wide, and she could feel the ligaments tearing. His iron hands gripped her trousers and yanked them off, this time not even bothering to unbutton them. They ripped in half. He watched her cringing at the double pain of losing her shield and losing it with her legs wide open. He examined her ivory legs, bare and too thin from starvation. He grunted and moaned with the sick pleasure of seeing her so in his grip.  
  
The next four hours were a nightmarish blaze of pain, humiliation, rage, anger, torment, sorrow: images of her innocence violated, her trust and faith murdered. He broke her spirit, and the fire finally left her eyes. She was nothing more than a rag doll, nothing more than a toy for him. She was not a person, or even a she, but an It. An object.  
  
When he finally left, she fell unconscious from the blood loss. She'd suffered multiple contusions, two concussions, and her whole body was racked with lacerations and tears. Her dreams were more frightening than anything she'd ever experienced.  
  
*  
  
"Janeway to engineering."  
  
"Torres here."  
  
"B'Elanna, can you get a stronger read on the origin of that homing beacon?"  
  
"We're already working on it captain."  
  
Janeway used the light switch beside her bed to turn on the overheads. "That's the B'Elanna I remember." She smiled ironically.  
  
"Yes Captain uh I mean, Admiral. Torres out."  
  
*  
  
Kathryn Janeway was in her element. Sitting in the Captain's chair, her adopted family all around her, she finally had a purpose. Teaching at Starfleet and living on Earth just had not fulfilled her sense of purpose. Finally, she had a goal.  
  
"Harry, are you detecting any life signs from the site of the homing beacon?"  
  
"Yes Admiral. Two humans. It looks like Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher."  
  
"Can you beam them off the planet?"  
  
"Yes ma'am: I've locked on."  
  
"Transport them directly to sickbay."  
  
"Yes Admiral."  
  
A few moments passed, and the console beeped. "Admiral a Federation shuttle has just appeared on our port bow! It's the stolen shuttle."  
  
"Do you have the Captain and Doctor?"  
  
"No ma'am: I have been unable to beam them out."  
  
"Admiral the shuttle is powering weapons."  
  
"Red alert: raise shields. Let's see what this baby can do. Evasive maneuvers Tom!"  
  
"I'm trying Admiral but this pilot is insane!"  
  
"Harry can you determine the shuttle pilot's species?"  
  
A few tense moments passed before Harry said, "No! There are no life signs being emitted from that shuttle!"  
  
"How can that be? Check the readings."  
  
Tuvok responded. "Mr. Kim is correct. There are no biological life forms aboard the shuttle."  
  
The ship shuddered with a torpedo hit. "Report!" Janeway shouted, her authoritarian barking belying her growing unease.  
  
"Damage to decks ten through twelve, no casualties reported."  
  
"What about our shields!" It was more a comment than a question, but Tuvok felt the need to respond: "The pilot of the shuttlecraft aimed at the only weak point in the shields of the Enterprise."  
  
As if to punctuate his remark another blast wracked the ship. The comm chirped.  
  
"Tom! Tom it's B'Elanna! Miral's been hurt." The desperate screams of Voyager's youngest family member tore into Kathryn Janeway's heart. "I'm taking her to sickbay but she's bleeding a lot. You've got to get down here!" B'Elanna's voice was panicked and ragged. A look of dread and the terror known only to a parent settled onto Tom's face and without a word he bolted from the bridge.  
  
Kathryn herself took the helm, amidst objections from both Harry and Tuvok. Mysteriously, Chakotay still had not appeared on the bridge.  
  
"LaForge to the Admiral! The pilot of that shuttle is an android!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I checked the energy signature of the shuttle and it's showing positronic wave patterns. Admiral I don't think we'll win this. If it's who I think it is, he knows the ship better than any of us."  
  
As Kathryn madly punched commands into the helm she barked, "I don't have time to beat around the bush Mr. LaForge: tell me out straight what your theory is!"  
  
"Admiral, that android's energy signature is nearly identical to Data's."  
  
*  
  
Miral Paris's screams intensified with every minute, and B'Elanna's already mad pace increased. Her baby's blood was all over her uniform. The wound having been inflicted by the little Voyager model in their quarters: when the ship had been hit it had flown off of the bureau and its bow had sliced into Miral's first stomach. Her redundant organs helped, but the bleeding simply would not stop. "Doctor!" B'Elanna shrieked as she flew into sickbay.  
  
"Oh God." The EMH ran to the hysterical mother and as he picked up the baby he shouted, "What happened?"  
  
B'Elanna's voice was hysterical, her eyes flooded with tears. "We were hit by a torpedo and the model flew into her stomach and she just...she won't stop bleeding. Oh Miral, Miral I'm so sorry! Oh God..."  
  
Tom raced into sickbay as the Doctor frantically moved to stem the bleeding. "Miral!" he shouted, rushing to his daughter. Her screams intensified.  
  
"Tom! Oh God...Miral!"  
  
The frantic parents hovered over their equally frantic daughter, their screams reaching a fever pitch. Miral was in pain and obviously terrified, but the Doctor was working methodically and quickly, despite his panic, to stem the bleeding so he could assess the damage. "Why is there so much blood?" Tom kept asking. The Doctor would reply the same way every time: "The wound severed an artery. I'm trying to clamp it now..."  
  
Finally he did clamp it, and with the bleeding down he sedated the infant and began to perform reconstructive surgery. Tom and B'Elanna watched his every move intently, clinging to each other. Neither one of them noticed Chakotay sitting on a corner biobed.  
  
The Commander's eye was swollen shut, his nose still dripping blood. The deep scratch in his neck had gone untreated for so long that it had begun to develop into scar tissue. He wasn't sure where Seven was but he knew she was not in Stellar Cartography. Frankly, at the moment he didn't really care. He was desperate to escape from his failing marriage and lost romance. All he wanted was to sit peacefully in a pine forest somewhere in the northern North American continent, watching the deer as they passed by him. He could almost feel the cool breeze and smell the pine scent. Perhaps Kathryn could be with him...  
  
Chakotay finally stirred from his reverie when the Doctor announced to Tom and B'Elanna that he expected Miral to make a full recovery. With a little less of his usual egomaniacal arrogance, he told them that it "Was touch- and-go there for a while but that he was able to pull her through." Chakotay had to laugh. Here he was, avoiding bridge duty to fight with his wife, people-watching in sickbay.  
  
Suddenly alarms sounded, wailing that an unauthorized phasor had been fired aboard the ship. Chakotay pulled himself off of the biobed and lumbered toward the door of sickbay, gaining speed. By the time he was halfway down the hallway he was running. "Computer, location of phasor fire!"  
  
"Deck 3, section 2. Crew quarters: Chakotay and Seven of Nine."  
  
"No!!"  
  
Chakotay ran faster than he ever believed possible. His wife was in danger, and no matter how much they fought he would be there for her till the end.  
  
When he arrived at their quarters he slammed into the door as the computer chirped, "Security lock-out engaged. Authorized personnel only."  
  
"Seven!!!: Chakotay pounded his fists against the door, shredding his knuckles. "SEVEN!!!"  
  
No answer.  
  
Chakotay's life seemed to be in slow motion. His hands swung at an infuriatingly slow pace, the sound of the blows ringing in his ears. His mouth moved so slowly, the words came out so garbled. He fell, spent, against the door, sliding down till he was laying on the ground sobbing. "Seven!! Seven!"  
  
He knew, somehow and with absolute certainty, what had happened. She was dead. His wife. Dead. "No, no, no, NOO!" he repeated, whimpering and wailing, simpering and shouting till he could no longer speak, just keen loudly in the hallway. The security details finally moved in and opened the door, knowing full well what they would find. The phasor that had been fired lay in the sprawled-out Seven's hand, the burns from the wound in her temple telling the whole tail. The sight of her body brought Chakotay's voice back. "SEVEN!!! NOOOO!!"  
  
The security details dutifully picked up the body and ordered a transport to sickbay, knowing full well that nothing could be done.  
  
"Seven!! I love you...please Seven...I love you! I'm sorry...so sorry...Seven!!" 


	17. Chapter Seventeen, by Seven of Nine and ...

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Seven of Nine:  
  
Seven struggled to keep her eyes open as Chakotay was yelling towards her. The pain was starting to fade, and everything was going gray. She was trying to tell Chakotay that everything was fine, and that she loved him, but the words just wouldn't come out. She tried to hang on, as she was transported to Sickbay, but the light seemed so comforting, so easy.  
  
"I'm sorry Chakotay, there's nothing I can do. I love you." She thought, as she drifted off to her eternal sleep.  
  
Praetor:  
  
Admiral Janeway pounded the helm controls furiously, trying to out-maneuver the shuttlecraft, but it was impossible. If the pilot was who LaForge thought then they would not be able to win. The Enterprise shook again, and again. A console blew out in a shower of sparks and metal fragments. A fire started, and Janeway quickly slapped her comm badge. "Repair teams to the bridge!" Another torpedo hit and Janeway was thrown from her chair.  
  
Worf yelled from tactical. "Admiral! That last torpedo went right threw our shields!"  
  
"How?!" came the response from the Admiral, who was scrambling to get back in her chair.  
  
"It appears he has matched his weapon frequencies with our shield frequency!"  
  
Tuvok interrupted Worf. "Admiral, we will be no help to Captain Picard or the doctor if we are dead! I suggest we retreat, and repair the damage!"  
  
The Admiral looked around the bridge. A portion of the roof had caved in, and there was a hole where once a console stood. Debris lay everywhere as officers struggled to put out fires. Janeway looked back towards the screen, suddenly sad. The little shuttle was bouncing this way and that. Her sad expression suddenly turned into one of thought. She had an idea!  
  
"Mr. Tuvok, prepare a spread of quantum torpedoes!"  
  
Tuvok looked up in surprise. "Admiral I do not-"  
  
"That's an order Tuvok!" came the response.  
  
"Aye Admiral!" The ship veered sharply to the left as another barrage of torpedoes smashed into the hull.  
  
Admiral Janeway pounded the controls. "Damn it! Helm controls are offline!" She stood and went to the command chair. "Mr. Tuvok! Since we can't hit the shuttle, we'll use old fashion depth charges. Once in close proximity to the shuttle, detonate them. We should be able to disable the shuttle!"  
  
Tuvok was skeptical. "Admiral, the chances of this working are one in..."  
  
"I didn't ask what the chances were Commander, now do it!"  
  
"Aye Admiral, ready to fire on your command."  
  
On the view screen, the shuttle came around for another pass.  
  
"He's targeting our weapons!" Harry yelled from Ops.  
  
"Fire!" Janeway ordered, as she stood and walked towards the screen.  
  
The ship shook again as the shuttle fired upon it. Tuvok detonated the charges, which exploded in a blaze of blue all around the shuttle.  
  
"Report!" Admiral Janeway ordered.  
  
"Weapons and engines are offline. Shields are at 70%, and there is major damage to the outer hull. Emergency forcefield holding."  
  
"What about the shuttle?" Janeway asked, hoping for the best.  
  
"Completely disabled captain."  
  
Small cheers could be heard from around the bridge and a smile entered Janeway's face. She stood and faced Tuvok. "And you wanted to run away."  
  
"It was the logical course of action given our circumstances."  
  
"It's ok Tuvok." Her smile turned to a smirk. "I think I'll keep you." 


	18. Chapter Eighteen, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
"Harry can you get them out now?"  
  
"Yes Captain, I believe the shuttle was somehow blocking our transporters. We won't know for certain until we can examine it but I think.."  
  
The sickening crunch of metal slamming metal, followed by a ship-wide lurch to port, interrupted Harry's train of thought. "Harry get them the hell out of there!" Admiral Janeway barked.  
  
The comm system chirped. "Doctor to the Admiral."  
  
"Admiral unauthorized transport onto deck two detected!" It was Tuvok.  
  
"The hull has been breached by the shuttle crash," shouted Worf.  
  
"Everybody SILENCE!!!" Janeway shouted finally. There was a stunned silence on the bridge of the Enterprise. "Now. That's better. Tuvok what is our security status?"  
  
"Intruder on deck two Admiral. I have dispatched two teams to intercept."  
  
"Good. Mr. Worf?"  
  
"Admiral we have a hull breach on decks 11-15: emergency forcefield are holding but fluctuating. Casualties reported at 7."  
  
Slapping her comm badge the Admiral said, "Now then. Doctor was there something you wanted to say?"  
  
"Admiral I think you'd better come to sickbay. We've retrieved Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard and there's.there's something you need to know."  
  
"I'm on my way. Janeway out."  
  
*  
  
Beverly was flailing on the ocean, tossed about by the waves. She struggled to keep her head above water but the wind whipped up the water into a frenzy. Her whole body screamed at her to give up, just sink and let it happen. But she couldn't listen. She had to...keep...swimming...keep...going...  
  
*  
  
"Admiral!" the Doctor said as Janeway entered sickbay. His forced cheerfulness told her everything she needed to know: this was bad.  
  
"What is it Doctor?"  
  
The Doctor lowered his eyes. "We've lost Seven."  
  
Janeway was stunned. "What?!" she finally choked out.  
  
"She...well she...she shot herself, Admiral." The Doctor was trying very hard not to let his feelings show.  
  
Janeway, on the other hand, was enraged. "What the hell was she thinking!" Then, something occurred to her. "Where's Chakotay?"  
  
The Doctor sighed. "In their quarters."  
  
Just as Janeway turned to leave, the Doctor said, "And he wishes to be alone."  
  
A frustrated sigh was the Doctor's only indication that his former Captain had even heard him. Her back to him, he could see her shoulder's shudder with controlled tears. After nearly a minute of the frozen silence the Doctor said, "She was miserable Admiral."  
  
"That doesn't mean she can just...just leave us like that!" Janeway refused to look back at the Doctor for fear her mask would shatter. "I should never have...." Her voice trailed off into nothingness, and when she turned toward him again she wore a mask of indifference. "How are the Captain and CMO?"  
  
The Doctor looked down at the Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise with an anxious expression on his face. "Well, Dr. Crusher is in pretty bad shape," he said softly. "She's been repeatedly...beaten and...abused." He looked down at the floor.  
  
"In what way Doctor? You're not telling me something."  
  
"Well, it appears she's been raped. Violently."  
  
Janeway's eyes widened. "By whom?" she whispered angrily, wishing to preserve Beverly's privacy and also somewhat conscious of her sleeping goddaughter.  
  
"I haven't been able to get a DNA sample. It seems as though he...he just didn't leave a trace."  
  
"Is she pregnant?"  
  
"Frankly, Admiral, I don't want to know."  
  
"Doctor, standard procedure in.."  
  
"Admiral please. I don't think it's appropriate, especially since she is another physician. At least until she wakes up."  
  
Janeway sighed, then acquiesced. "What about Captain Picard?"  
  
The Doctor brightened as much as he could at the mention of his star patient of the moment. "Captain Jean-Luc Picard is as good as new. He suffered the same sensory deprivation and malnutrition that Dr. Crusher faced but I've been able to stabilize him. The beatings that he faced must have been harrowing, but I've been able to repair much of the damage."  
  
"Any signs of sexual abuse?" Janeway asked quietly.  
  
The Doctor was taken aback. "On a man?"  
  
"It does happen Doctor." Admiral Janeway was a little stunned that his programming didn't include all forms of sexual abuse, but she pushed it aside as a testament to how truly blessed the crew of Voyager had been. They'd never suffered this level of psychological torture.  
  
The Doctor quickly scanned Picard. Uncomfortably, he said, "Apparently he was not...hurt that way. Which means he still could have been the one to.abuse Dr. Crusher, though I doubt it."  
  
In any other situation the Doctor's discomfort would have made Janeway laugh. Now, it was sobering. 400 years had passed since Tom Paris' favorite era, and they were still so innocent. "I think it's safe to assume that whomever that android is, he is definitely not the Data Starfleet trained. How long till you can wake him?"  
  
"I can wake him right now if you like, though you may need some more time to speak with him."  
  
"Yes I suppose I might. Thank you Doctor. And, let's keep this information to sickbay please. I don't want to compromise Dr. Crusher any further." Janeway lingered with the Doctor for a moment, their minds drifting to the sad woman whose failed marriage had taken her life. The Doctor was about to speak as the doors to sickbay flew open.  
  
"Data?!"  
  
The tall android paid no attention as he flew past Janeway and to Dr. Crusher's bedside. "Stupid bitch," he hissed at her sleeping form. He struck her bruised face with the back of his hand before Janeway grabbed his arm and pulled. Hard.  
  
"Get the hell off of this ship."  
  
His sneer turned on her, and Janeway suddenly realized just whom she had provoked. "Get off this ship?" he larked, mocking her. "Get off this SHIP?" His twisted sneer advanced on her as the Doctor stood, stunned.  
  
Admiral Janeway's hand reached up to slap her comm badge, but the android's reflexes were too quick for her. He grabbed her arm and she could feel the pop as he pulled her elbow out of joint. Janeway's surprised cry snapped the Doctor into action.  
  
"Doctor to security! Get to sickbay! Immediately!" He rushed to his former Captain's aid and threw himself against the sickly pale android. His struggling earned Janeway several seconds in which to escape, but she got only as far as the door before a bedside tray flew through the air and incapacitated her.  
  
*  
  
Voice. Loud, angry voices. "Data?!" "Get...off...ship" Beverly drowned in the words, swallowing them down into her stomach, into her lungs. She tried to gag, but there were too many words. Sickbay...admiral...Doctor...security...wake him...rape...suffered...Jean- Luc...JEAN-LUC! Beverly awoke with a start. "Jean-Luc!!!"  
  
*  
  
The sudden cry momentarily stunned the security team who had begun to neutralize the threat. Adat saw his advantage. A moment later, two guards were suffering from phasor burns and the others were scrambling to regroup. Adat nearly growled with excitement, until a timid but firm hand reached out and switched him off.  
  
*  
  
Janeway glared at the now limp android on the floor. "I think I'll keep you," she mumbled. "In the brig." The Admiral stepped delicately over his body and left sickbay, trying to control her shaking.  
  
*  
  
Repair crews were hard at work on the damaged sections of the Enterprise. Meanwhile, Voyager's crew gathered to mourn their lost friend. Instead of celebrating her life, however, as the crew had been accustomed to doing, they were still trying to puzzle out the circumstances of her death. Seven's unexpected suicide had left the crew baffled.  
  
With Tom and B'Elanna still helping Miral to recover from her injury, there had been little time for the family to mourn, and they suffered only a pervasive feeling that something was simply not right. Harry had been stunned at the news: he had known that Seven was suffering in her marriage but suicide just didn't seem to be a part of Seven's vocabulary. Tuvok's characteristic facade was much more difficult for him to maintain: the illogic of Seven's extremely emotional outburst was nearly as difficult for him to understand as the Sudor murders had been so many years ago. This time, however, there was no opportunity to understand.  
  
The Doctor was sadly unsurprised. He couldn't help but feel guilty for his cynicism but he'd known from the start that a marriage for a woman with the emotional maturity of an adolescent would only lead to adolescent behaviour. That's what his medical brain said anyway. His emotional brain felt numb. He couldn't understand the behaviour, couldn't come to terms with it. If only he'd warned someone, if only he'd seen it coming. If only he'd talked to her, if only...  
  
Chakotay was devastated. The reality of Seven's death had sunk like a lead weight to rest in the pit of his stomach: he was physically sick when he thought of his last words to her. His mind ran a constant loop around the last minutes of her life. "Seven!!" he heard himself shouting. In his mind, he was standing at the end of a long tunnel, running with all his might to reach her. She stood at the end, face streaked with tears, and whispered something. He couldn't hear it, if only he could get to her in time! She would whisper it one last time, then a blinding flash obscured his vision. Despite himself he would raise his arm to guard his eyes, and when the tunnel finally became dark again he was holding her body. He couldn't make sense of it: he couldn't handle it. The image occupied every waking and sleeping moment.  
  
Kathryn Janeway wanted to scream. She wanted to slam her fists against the walls and call out to anyone who could hear. She wanted to throw herself into a rage, to demand of Seven why she was so selfish, so goddamn self- absorbed, so deliriously self-centered...but she knew it wasn't true. She was the selfish one, the only self-absorbed person in Voyager's family. She'd made Seven stick with it in the first place. She was the one with the stupid maternal instincts. She was the one who had practically adopted a woman with the emotional maturity of a teenager. All in the name of doing good. Yeah you did real great Kathryn. What a hero. If only she'd intervened when Chakotay had called her so long ago. If only she'd prevented the marriage from happening. If only she'd avoided feeling so much for any of them.  
  
If only she could cry.  
  
But Admiral Janeway was a rock: solid, strong, unfeeling, and in control. Completely in control. There would be no screaming rage, no sobbing till her head ached and her eyes were swollen shut. That was not becoming of her rank or her persona. She could not afford to lose face. Her stoicism would be a model for her crew. Her speech for Seven would be heartfelt but detached. She was Admiral Janeway.  
  
"We've gathered here today to celebrate the life of Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One. The life of a dear friend, known to her parents as Annika and to us as simply Seven. I would like to share some fond memories of Seven and then you are all welcome to take the podium." Admiral Janeway took a deep breath. So far so good. Not even a quaver in her voice.  
  
"When Seven first came aboard we...well we knocked heads a bit." Admiral Janeway forced a smile. "But Seven began to blossom into her own person, a strong, admirable..." child "woman." Don't lose it now Kathryn. Don't you dare blame her for this. "She began to make friends, even to attempt dating. Though the first attempt ended in a severely strained shoulder as I recall"-another forced smile- "Seven was undeterred. She continued to branch out into the world that we are all so familiar with, and she developed close relationships with many members of the crew." Another deep breath, this time a little shaky. "She was so innocent and yet so strong: I was amazed." You're rambling Kathryn, she reminded herself. "When she and Commander Chakotay announced their engagement I was stunned, but thrilled." Damn! she thought as a single tear ran down her cheek. "I wished them both the best of luck and," Admiral Janeway's voice cracked. She pressed her lips together in a hard line, but the tears would not stop. Control yourself, she thought sternly, but it was no use. After what seemed like an eternity, her voice returned. "If anyone else would like to share his or her reflections please come up."  
  
As she stepped down from the podium she bit her lip so hard it bled. She would NOT cry again. Admiral Janeway was not about to lose control. Ever. Even at her own expense, she would be a rock to the end.  
  
Kathryn didn't even hear the rest of the funeral ceremony. Chakotay refused to share his reflections, electing instead to simply stand beside his late wife's coffin and stare sadly down at it. Every once in a while he would look up at her and his eyes pierced her very soul.  
  
When the ceremony was finished and Seven's body committed to space, Admiral Janeway reminded her crew that the funeral reception would be held when the repairs to deck ten were completed.  
  
*  
  
Kathryn Janeway fled to her quarters and locked the door, then collapsed onto her couch. The tears that she had tried so desperately to hold back would not flow now, and she found herself feeling full to the brim and unable to open the floodgate. She stood and gazed down at the M-Class planet below them, her heart full to bursting.  
  
Her door chirped. "Come in," she said, without thinking. Then, "Oh! Sorry, computer, unlock doors."  
  
Standing in her door was Commander Chakotay. His eyes were full of something she couldn't quite place. "Chakotay?" she whispered.  
  
"Kathryn," he breathed, walking purposefully towards her.  
  
"Chakotay what.."  
  
She could say no more as his mouth claimed hers.  
  
The fury and passion of the kiss was something akin to rage. Kathryn and Chakotay dueled with their tongues, pressing their faces so deeply into one another that they seemed to be charging the opposing line. Their arms around one another were so tight they could barely breath. Eyes glued shut, they thrust and parried, entwining their mouths so completely there was no room for anything other than their furious desperation. Back and forth they fought, with the strength borne of desperate need.  
  
Suddenly Kathryn tore away from the embrace. Her gaze smoldered, with passion or fury neither one of them could be sure. "What the hell do you think you're doing," she growled.  
  
"Waking you up Kathryn." Chakotay took a step towards her, almost menacing in his lust.  
  
"Stay right where you are."  
  
"You didn't seem to mind a minute ago."  
  
"You should never have done that to me! Why Chakotay? WHY?"  
  
Chakotay didn't reply. They glared at each other, now only inches apart. Finally Admiral Janeway rumbled, "Dismissed Commander."  
  
Chakotay stayed put. "No."  
  
"Commander Chakotay I gave you a direct..."  
  
Once again the last word was strangled, ripped from her mouth by a raging storm of confused emotions. Chakotay's hands hungrily explored her body, and Admiral Janeway once again retreated at the sight of the raw emotion. Kathryn Janeway explored back. He was about to unzip her uniform when he pulled away from the desperate entanglement, leaving Kathryn Janeway confused and angry. Admiral Janeway took over once more.  
  
The blazing fire in Chakotay's eyes had suddenly disappeared, replaced by a more familiar expression: guilt. "Kathryn I...I'm so sorry I don't...oh God." Without another word, Chakotay left the Admiral's quarters.  
  
Admiral Janeway stared at the door for at least a minute after Chakotay had left. Then she could stand no longer.  
  
Kathryn Janeway dissolved into a crumpled heap of angry tears. Tears for her surrogate daughter who's death had torn her apart. Tears for the friend she'd found, lost, found again, and now lost again. Tears for the Voyager family, which would never be the same. And tears for her self: alone, vulnerable, and with nothing to show for herself but a uniform, a thick dossier, and a gold ranking bar.  
  
*  
  
Captain Jean-Luc Picard awoke with a start in the sickbay of the Enterprise- F. As soon as his disorientation cleared he looked frantically about for Beverly. Finding her missing, he called out to her. "Beverly! BEVERLY!!"  
  
An EMH-1 came scurrying into the room with a medical tricorder in hand. "Captain! Captain it's all right, Beverly is just fine."  
  
"Where is she?" he demanded as loudly as he could manage. It didn't register that this was actually Voyager's doctor.  
  
"She's...she's currently resting. Admiral Janeway wished to speak to you when you awoke. Would you like me to contact her now or would you like a few moments to collect your thoughts?" The EMH spoke soothingly, and as much as Jean-Luc hated to be coddled he would put up with it for Kathryn's sake.  
  
"Please give me a few moments. May I see Beverly?" Picard asked.  
  
The EMH sighed. "Captain I do not advise it. She's under a fair amount of stress due to her experiences. There are still some conditions I can't cure with a hypospray. Post-traumatic stress syndrome is one of them."  
  
Jean-Luc's frustrated sigh told the Doctor that he had won purely on the basis of the Captain's whim. "Alright Doctor thank you. You may contact the Admiral now."  
  
The Doctor nodded kindly, a sad expression playing across his face. "I'll do that right away sir."  
  
The Doctor walked into his temporary office in the Enterprise sickbay. He wasn't sure why he felt he needed to contact the Admiral privately, but the feeling was strong all the same. After all, it hadn't even been 24 hours since Seven's funeral. "Doctor to the Admiral," he said, tapping his commbadge.  
  
A few moments of silence. "Admiral Janeway this is the Doctor please respond."  
  
"Yes Doctor?" came a harried voice.  
  
"Admiral, Captain Picard is awake. You wished to speak with him..?"  
  
"Tuvok and Worf can handle it," she grumbled, terminating the connection.  
  
The Doctor was shocked. Admiral Janeway had not behaved like this since...  
  
The Void. The Doctor realized what was happening with a growing horrour. Admiral Janeway was being consumed by irrational guilt. The Doctor made a note to discuss the problem with.well with the ships' conselour if necessary. He sighed. Worrying wouldn't get Captain Picard debriefed any sooner. "Doctor to Commander Worf."  
  
"Worf here."  
  
"I need you and Tuvok in sickbay. Captain Picard has awakened."  
  
"I shall notify Commander Tuvok and we will arrive momentarily."  
  
"Thank you Commander. Doctor out."  
  
The Doctor sighed again, dropping heavily into his chair. Sometimes he honestly wished he didn't have emotion subroutines. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen, by Licky

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Licky:  
  
The lights were off and only the dim glow of the monitors lit the Admirals room. Her back was facing the door, and her eyes seemed to be the only moving part of her. Kathryn's hair tangled down her back, as she had neglected to put it up. She wore the same off duty outfit--loose fitting pants, and a baggy t-shirt--that she had worn yesterday.  
  
Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from constant crying: now reduced to pointless staring. People came by, wondering if she was all right, but most of them just assumed that she was taking Seven's death harder then they expected. They didn't even know--really know--what was wrong. Of course she was upset over Seven's death, but it only added to her real pain. She continued to blame herself for Seven's suicide, thinking that if she pulled Chakotay out of that "relationship" after his containment in his house, that they would both have been happy.  
  
The door chimed. Kathryn just ignored it, hoping the person would go away. It chimed again, and wouldn't stop. Finally she dried her eyes.  
  
"Come," she croaked out, trying her hardest to hide her pain.  
  
Light filtered in from the hallway out side her room. The light was obscured by a tall person in her doorway.  
  
"You have to stop doing this to yourself, Kathryn." His voice was soft, yet still strong. It was what she needed right now: someone to take charge and let Kathryn overcome the Admiral.  
  
"What do you want Chakotay?" Her voice was harsh as she called back to him. She wanted to run into his arms and never let go of him, but she couldn't. It would be too hard.  
  
"You've been locked in here for days. Everyone is worried about you." He ignored her unspoken question.  
  
They are worried about me? They don't even know me anymore. She knew the Voyager family had split apart, so why would they care if she was upset? She was just their old Captain. The thought made her tear up, and she couldn't hold the tears in. They started to flow, at first silently, down her cheeks. She continued to stare into the stars, the only thing familiar to her wherever she went.  
  
Chakotay stepped into her quarters, letting the doors close behind him. The room was dark once more.  
  
"Dammit Kathryn," he took another set towards her. How could he even dare to be here, to be talking to me. "There are people who care about you, and love you. You're only hurting them--" he looked down at the carpet, "more then they need right now."  
  
She turned, abandoning the stars. "Do you love me, Chakotay?" The question was simple enough, and Kathryn didn't fell like jumping around the point of this visit.  
  
"What?" He seemed startled by the bluntness of the question, probably expecting her to evade it.  
  
"The question is simple enough. After all this time- since you professed your love to me on New Earth, since you married Seven--do you still love me? Have you ever loved me?" She stared, this time not on the passing star systems, but on the man she loved: the man she wanted to run up to and never let go.  
  
He couldn't answer that question, not the way she wanted to hear anyway. He stood there with his eyes fixated on her beautiful face.  
  
"I do," he started, "I always have"  
  
"Then what was Seven!" she yelled, "Just a substitute?" She couldn't hold it in anymore. Kathryn ran up to Chakotay. Coming within an inch of his face, she hid her completely mixed emotions. "What, you couldn't wait for me? You knew how hard it was for me to have a relationship."  
  
He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "I moved on, Kathryn. I just didn't know if you loved me back. I found Seven, who liked me, and gave me the attention I deserved. That I needed. She loved me, and I thought I loved her." He looked into her watery blue eyes, searching for forgiveness, "In my heart I loved you, I just couldn't admit it: it hurt too much."  
  
"I love you Chakotay, I always have." She put her hand around his neck and drew his head closer to her lips. As they kissed their world disappeared, all their problems never existed. Kathryn slowly broke away, but still stayed close to his face.  
  
"I think I'll keep you, my dear Chakotay. I think I will." 


	20. Chapter Twenty, by Remus J Lupin

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Remus J. Lupin:  
  
He sighed as the holodeck doors opened. He never thought he'd see this place again. Chez Sandrine was the place he first discovered love, and he spent his time here when he had thought he lost his love. The Doctor decided this was an appropriate place to be right now. "How *could* she? It was so... illogical!... of her to commit suicide. Why... WHY? Didn't she know there were other people out there who loved her? No matter what he tried to do, his mind would eventually wander off. He'd find himself thinking about Seven again.  
  
"Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One..." he said. "How selfish of you... you ended your misery, but now look what you've done! The Family is now miserable because of you. They miss you, Seven..."  
  
"I see you 'ave returned. Want to stay on as my bartender, do you?" a french-accented woman's voice interrupted. It took him a second to realize that he had been talking to himself.  
  
Seven of Nine is not here. Stop behaving irrationally and get on with your life, the devil in him spoke up. "Sandrine!" The Doctor exclaimed with surprise. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Zis is my bar, silly."  
  
Sandrine leaned over to plant a kiss on him, but he gently pushed her away. "No thank you, I've already got a... love... problem on my hands, and I don't need another," he said coldly.  
  
"Still as stubborn as a mule..." She shook her head and stormed away with a 'hmph!'. The Doctor massaged his temples. Perhaps this is the life I was meant to have. A holographic doctor with a bad bed-side manner and a holographic French bar owner who is always craving to make love. Hmph. What a *perfect* couple, he thought sarcastically, smirking.  
  
For a moment there, he actually thought of pursuing the possibility of romance between him and Sandrine. It was not impossible, after all. He sat down, brooding, his hand stroking an invisible beard.  
  
Seven made her way back into his thoughts again. Suddenly, all possibility of a good relationship between him and Sandrine was erased. How could he ever forgive himself? If he'd had confessed his love for Seven long ago, before she hooked up with Chakotay, this never would have happened. They could have an excellent relationship together, but NOO... he had to, he just *had* to succumb to his shyness. And then all his chances to be with Seven dropped from one hundred to zero. Who would want a hologram compared to a human who had all the pros of humanity? Chakotay was kind, loving, all the qualities a woman could ever want in a man. "What am I? But a hologram. What do I have that the Commander doesn't?"  
  
He sighed. Ever since Voyager had returned to Earth, his life had taken a bad turn. Before they even knew they had a chance of getting home, some part of him doubted if he really wanted to get back to Earth. He'd always wonder what he'd be treated like. But at least he wasn't kept as a lab rat in some holographic testing centre. At least he still got to keep his mobile emitter. But those were the only things he felt good about. Compared to other holograms, his life was quite good. But he was still treated like a hologram: property.  
  
He snapped out of his reverie and noticed that Sandrine was walking toward his general direction. "A little stressed, are we? I'll make you feel better," she said. He thought Sandrine was about to kiss him again, and was just thinking about deleting her when a sudden relaxation crept over him as Sandrine massaged his shoulders. "Ahh... that feels *much* better... I think I'll keep you after all," the Doctor commented. 


	21. Chapter Twenty One, by VoyagerFanatic

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
VoyagerFanatic:  
  
The former crewmembers of voyager crowded into Ten-Forward for the memorial service. A handful had tear streaks on their faces. Some were there just for the sole purpose of comforting their friends or just to pay their respects to Seven. But most, like the senior officers, were too numb from the shock of her death even to cry.  
  
Admiral Janeway stood with her back to the crowd. She wasn't really thinking about the ship... the Enterprise crew was fully capable of running it. She stared down at the neatly folded brown cloth in her hands. She fingered the coloured knots on it and looked out the window at the stars streaking by.  
  
She had always found comfort in the view, the familiar backdrop of her life. It helped clear her thoughts, helped her organise them. Unfortunately, at the moment it wasn't doing her any good at all. Her thoughts and emotions were swirling around in her head in a tornado of frightening power. After trying unsuccessfully to blot out everything in her mind, she gave up and pinched the bridge of her nose, massaging it up and down, attempting to fight back the mammoth headache that she could feel coming on. She squeezed her eyes shut and let out an involuntary sigh.  
  
Chakotay stepped into Ten-Forward. A few people stopped talking and turned towards their first officer for a couple of seconds before returning to their conversations. The instant B'Elanna caught sight of him entering, she leaped off the sofa that she and several other senior officers were sitting on and rushed towards him. Chakotay never knew the engineer to be the hugging sort so he was a little surprised when she threw her arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze.  
  
"I'm so sorry Chakotay. I know you had your problems but still... it must be tough."  
  
He opened his mouth to say that she had no idea how hard it was, but decided against it. Instead he nodded in acknowledgement, then said "Listen B'Elanna, have you seen Captain...I mean Admiral Janeway? I need to have a word with her."  
  
B'Elanna looked a little taken back by his casual tone of voice but decided not to comment on it. "Well, I thought I saw her over in that corner," she replied, pointing with her index finger to the far corner of Ten-Forward.  
  
Chakotay did a quick scan of the sector of Ten-Forward that B'Elanna had indicated and spotted a auburn coloured head at the far corner. He excused himself from B'Elanna and walked hurriedly towards the admiral, leaving B'Elanna with her mouth hanging open.  
  
He saw that Kathryn was clutching something in her hand. She looked like she wanted to be left alone for a while. Cautiously, he went forward and tapped her shoulder. Her eyes shot opened and she jumped, dropping the thing in her hand. Chakotay bent down to retrieve when he realised that it was the blanket that Seven had offered to give him while they were on Voyager, after they were stranded on a planet. He picked it up and examined it. "I didn't know she kept it," he said quietly.  
  
"She adored it. She said so in her will. She wanted you to have it if anything happened to her."  
  
He stared at it in silence.  
  
"Its time for me to start the service." Janeway said quietly. She moved towards the centre of the room, called for everyone's attention and started speaking.  
  
"I've already made my remarks so I'll keep this brief, them open the podium to you. Seven was a friend to all, and many of us had the privilege of guiding her through her journey towards humanity. She will be remembered by..."  
  
Chakotay wasn't really listening. He bundled the brown material up and held it in his hand. He turned to look out on the vast expanse of space and turned back to stare at the course brown blanket. A single teardrop ran down his face and he whispered, barely audible, "I think I'll keep you." 


	22. Chapter Twenty Two, by Licky

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Licky:  
  
A light: it was the shining door to a new place that lit the dark path. Beverly walked the long pathway. She felt the cold sand beneath her feet, molding to her bare toes. Her clothes hung off her, soaking wet. Water dribbled down her back from her hair messily scattered on her rear. She continued to walk towards the light, only metres away now. She had a purpose. Beverly did not know why but something was drawing her to that light. She now felt a direction. She smiled at the light. It was an escape.  
  
"Is this the end?"  
  
Beverly stepped into the passageway, knowing no other place to go.  
  
"I guess it is." and she was gone.  
  
I'm half naked, and I have two of the most indifferent people on this ship debriefing me. What are the chances.  
  
Jean-Luc Picard sat on a biobed wearing only a medical gown and a blanket, looking very uncomfortable. Facing him stood Commanders Tuvok and Worf, both looking quite awkward. Tuvok held a PADD in front of him and fiddled with it nervously. He contained the emotion, and finally demolished it.  
  
"Captain," he started, "could you describe what happened when you were on the shuttlecraft." It was a statement, not a question.  
  
Picard closed his eyes, not truly wanting to relive the moments.  
  
"I don't remember much," said the Captain, "I was only awake for 10 minutes or so. But.it was dark. I could hardly see Beverly. I noticed that her clothes were ripped to shreds, and like myself, her pip's were missing."  
  
"Did you see your captor?" Worf asked, after a glace at his PADD.  
  
"No, I was not conscious for most of the time." He avoided her reaction to him. It was the last he had seen of her: screaming Data's name in fear and angst.  
  
God, I hate that man. He will pay.  
  
"Is there anything else?" Tuvok asked, again looking awkward.  
  
"No." Picard shifted his weight on the bed. Tuvok and Worf exchanged a look that said all that need be said. Jean-Luc Picard was afraid of something that had happened on that ship.  
  
"Thank you Captain. That will be all for now."  
  
They left Picard on his bed, alone. 


	23. Chapter Twenty Three, by Remus J Lupin

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Remus J. Lupin:  
  
"AHHHHHH!" A scream erupted from a crewman's quarters. She spotted the intruder bashing the door open and charging in, and being quite sure that she could handle herself, she tried to restrain him before alerting Security. That turned out to be the biggest mistake she had ever made. Adat smashed his fist into her gut, blinding her with the pain. He grabbed her by the collar of her uniform, his eyes taking in all the information. "Crewman, medical department," he registered in his head. Letting out a vicious snarl, he kicked the unconscious body on the floor. "This is useless!" he exclaimed, followed by a stream of obscenities. He crashed the whole room, searching for anything that could help him achieve his ends. "Hello... ? What have we here?" he muttered, as he picked up a phaser rifle. A feral grin plastered itself on his face.  
  
Walking down the corridors with exaggerated calmness, he showed no mercy to the passers-by. It wasn't because he wanted to make his presence known... he enjoyed it. He busted open several doors to see what was in the rooms, shooting down anyone in them. All of the rooms were ransacked; nothing was left in its original position. Still, nothing in those rooms captured his interest. He quickly boarded a turbolift and headed for the Bridge.  
  
Upon entering the bridge, Adat barged up to the Captain's console and punched in encryption codes that restricted access to any of the ship's systems to him alone. He looked up again from the console to see about a dozen phasers trained at him. He had to suppress his laughter, limiting himself to an amused smirk. "We meet again, Admiral," he greeted Janeway, who, as soon as she could walk, had gone straight back to the Bridge. "Quick recovery?" he asked, feigning curiousity.  
  
"Adat," Janeway spat the name like it was venom. "You make one false move, and you'll be scrap metal," she warned.  
  
"Oh, you can't possibly believe you have the upper hand..." he taunted. "I have the ship under my control now. And I can do anything I want with you... now, let's see..." he pretended to be thinking. "What should I do with you? Hmm... I know!" His lightning-fast fingers deactivated life- support before anyone could stop him. "Let's see how you do without air!" he grinned.  
  
He let himself be pushed aside by a very furious Janeway, who tried desperately to reactivate it.  
  
"What are you playing at, Adat?" she asked angrily. "The lives of hundreds of innocent people are at risk here! I demand you turn it back on!"  
  
"Oh, I didn't do anything to harm the others. Only the Bridge has been depleted of oxygen. But unfortunately, no one can save you now as I have locked every entrance to the Bridge."  
  
It wasn't long before everyone was gasping for breath, and they collapsed, unconscious. "Fools... did the really think I'd kill them?" he thought, as he reactivated the life-support. Piling all the bodies in a corner without any consoles, he erected a forcefield large enough to hold them. "I think I'll keep you all here, where I can keep an eye on you," he said to the unconscious Bridge crew. He then went to the Captain's chair and sat down rigidly.  
  
"Nothing can stop me now." 


	24. Chapter Twenty Four, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
This world was so alien to Beverly she could hardly believe that she had once inhabited it. Cushy biobeds and "Red Alerts", little flashing lights to give people some illusion of safety or awareness. Beeping monitors that take little readings to tell the Doctor about how the patient is feeling. Even Jean-Luc seemed foreign, sitting alert and fearful on his own little bed. Why is he so worried? Beverly thought. No matter what he does he'll just lose in the end.  
  
As if in a trance, she stood up from her bed and walked around it, pushing at the foam and watching absently as it sprang back at her fingers. She looked awful: bags under her eyes, skin hanging from her bones, her once- healthy red hair hanging dull and dirty-blonde, with large patches missing. She walked as if she had never used her legs before, teetering dangerously as she put one foot in front of the other. She dimmly recognized a pain in her thighs, and a burning between them, but she was so far gone that she didn't react to it at all. Sick Bay was a mess, bodies in the corners in places, but she really didn't see. She was lost in herself, lost in her fear and her confusion, and the anger of betrayl.  
  
Reflexively cluthing her aching stomach, Beverly vomited without seeming to notice, then laid back on her cushy bed and fell into a troubled sleep.  
  
The Doctor was a nervous mess. If computer programs could bite their nails, he would have eaten several of his fingers. He knew the situation on the bridge, but he had also just witnessed Dr. Crusher's strange behaviour AND observed the increasingly agitated Captain Picard move to her side. "Captain! Please leave my patient alone for the time being!" he called, trying at the same time to formulate a plan to help the bridge crew.  
  
"How the devil am I supposed to just leave her here dammit!" Picard cried, dangerously close to violence. "Do something for her!"  
  
"Captain I am doing all I can to run a Sickbay, rescue the Federation Flagship, and stop a maniac android from destroying us all. I'm sorry but Dr. Crusher's vomitting is not life-threatening and will have to wait." The Doctor recited this as he rushed back and forth between his bridge monitor and a monitor of Beverly's vital signs (more erratic than he wanted Picard to know).  
  
His plan so far for the Bridge crew was (he thought) genius. He would make of himself a computer virus, multiplying until primitive copies of himself would overcome Adat and disable his programing by assimilating it. He figured he could then use Adat's positronic brain to create an "Anti-Adat" that could guard the ship forever. Then again, he thought, it might just be enough to kill the b@stard.  
  
His plan completed, the Doctor began making preparations to copy his program onto a virus program, and to begin distributing copies of himself all over the ship's systems. He downloaded himself into his mobile emitter after copying his programming, then began replication. Here goes nothing.. 


	25. Chapter Twenty Five, by DKS

"I Think I'll Keep You"  
  
Dana Katherine Scully:  
  
The lights on the Bridge flickered imperceptably. Adat paid them no mind: they were of no consequence to him and there was nothing the mortals here could do to stop him, so he let it go. He was busy plotting many courses, all of which set the Enterprise in a position to destroy Federation allies and properties. If he could sweat, his brow would have been glittering.  
  
"Adat, what is it that you want?" Janeway cried from behind the forcefield. "Let our wounded go: release them to sickbay."  
  
Dammit she's awake... "I want to destroy. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less." He said it so coolly that Janeway's skin crawled.  
  
"Please let these people go. You can keep me."  
  
"I don't want just you my dear. I want it all."  
  
Inside Enterprise's systems, the doctor's programming had disseminated into intelligence without personality: all inessential subroutines had to be purged from anything in the computer system to ensure that there was enough space on the massive hard drive. The Doctor had saved all of his emotional subroutines before uploading himself into the ship, but he had known that there was a risk he would never be the same. And now he could not feel what that was like: to know that he would never be the same. He had no idea what it felt like. But he did have a mission.  
  
As he slithered through cables and conduits toward the bridge, the lights of the ship flickerd imperceptibly: a temporary interruption in their programming. His arrival on the bridge went unherralded, Adat continued punching away at his key pad. The Doctor slid through the computer to his pad and started to make tiny systems errours occur. Nothing dramatic, for he was conscious of endangering the crew behind the forcefield. But little things, like making the screen freeze then go crazy for a second or so, and then settle down to reveal that Adat had accomplished nothing. After a few of these the android smashed the keypad and the doctor was forced to flee back to the bridge doors.  
  
Finding the doors locked, he understood why the Captain had been unable to escape. Unlocking the doors surreptitiously, he replaced the actual forcefield with a holographic simulation of one. Adat was raging against the computers on the bridge, and the Doctor saw it was time to make his move. He began replication.  
  
The lights in sickbay flickered. Jean-Luc Picard did not notice them. He was staring sadly at a medical tricorder in his hand, reading the characteristic two heartbeats that signalled a pregnancy. Picard did not dare run DNA comparisons: he told himself he was afraid that his limited medical knowledge would affect the baby, but really he just didn't want to know. "My poor Beverly," he said quietly, tears burning his eyes. "I never wanted this for us."  
  
Throughout the ship, strange things were happening. Crewmen found their quarters overflowing with replicated Klingon blood wine. Ten-Forward had become a bath house, the bar sinks filling with steaming water. The Holodeck was switching worlds quickly enough to make your head spin. And every holoprojecter on the ship was projecting contorted images of the Doctor. He laughed, cried, screamed, sang: depending on which holoprojector he imitated different emotions. His programming could not feel them anymore, but he imitated them.  
  
Meanwhile, the index program was attacking Adat. The Bridge of the new Enterprise had built-in phasors for protection, as the security of the Federation had been compromised by the debacles with its predecessor. Adat did not know this. He simply took the fire.  
  
The Doctor's final victory was a quiet one. He hit Adat enough times that his positronic brain overloaded, effectively killing the being he was. And the Doctor was able to tell the Captain to lead the crew off of the bridge, though she did not understand how it was that he had saved them. Returning his program to sickbay, the doctor's emotional subroutines reintegrated into his programming, and he felt like he was falling.  
  
His holoemitter picked up the presence of his program from the sickbay computer and updated itself, then projected a shaking, crying, screaming Doctor into the air. 


End file.
